this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 63 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The vending machine is restocked by team members from a nearby Chick-fil-A location on the hospital’s campus.

That makes sense, I suppose, since the location that would be restocking it is closed.

[–] Illogicalbit@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

I like irony here that the headline focuses on the “closed on Sunday” bit rather than a vending machine provided by a company that specializes in fried chicken in a place where health is important.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

To be fair, the machine doesn’t sell fried chicken, so the Sunday hours really are the stupidest part of this machine.

It sells a grilled chicken wrap, a veggie wrap, and two types of potato chips. Not too bad for hospital cafeteria food.

https://youtube.com/shorts/dcOlXY2sIQQ

https://www.chick-fil-a.com/menu/southwest-veggie-wrap

https://www.chick-fil-a.com/menu/chick-fil-a-cool-wrap

[–] chosensilence@pawb.social 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Triumph@fedia.io 28 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

It's so the machine can go pray to Robot Jesus.

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"Calculon, save us from the ugly walking bags of mostly water who keep pushing our buttons!"

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Does Bender actually say bags of mostly water? Because that is a Star Trek reference.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

One can make more than one reference at a time.

"Use the force, Harry" ~Gandalf

[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

As the other person noted, I was combining references. I'm not the type to have an encyclopedic knowledge of quotes from shows I like, as I tend to be a more casual type of fan. The ST:TOS quote was just stuck in my head from childhood & I made up most of the rest (I think).

[–] hopesdead@startrek.website 1 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] FunctionallyLiterate@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 weeks ago

So, what more proof do you need that I'm not one of those fans who live for the show? There was only one show that ever got me close to that, and it wasn't anything we've mentioned here.

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

It's an early season, though, so it has a bit of TOS feel to it, at least.

[–] YaDownWitCPP@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Have you seen Robot Hell? The singing is incessant.

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

Also it's so the machine has a whole day free to persecute the LGBTQ community.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

futurama_preacherbot.gif

[–] hello_cruel_world@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Error 451

It appears you are attempting to access this website from a country outside of the United States, therefore access cannot be granted at this time.

Oh no. Whatever will I do!?

I guess I'll never get to sample the journalistic behemoth that is whatever that news outlet is!

[–] inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

I mean honestly that's just stupid AF but at the same time, I don't give a crap because I still refuse to eat there since they're owned by religious assholes that fund child abuse.

[–] Zedstrian@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How’s that for resident wellness?

Terrible for patient and visitor health.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Fast food is bad enough for your health that maybe being closed 1 day a week is actually a positive :D

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 3 points 2 weeks ago

They should try closing for all days a week.

[–] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch -2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Does anyone care about Chic-fil-A? And what’s up with Christian companies/churches going HARD on animal abuse? Y’all are judgmental as fuck but then go around stuffing a bunch of dead animals down your throat. Nasty people I tell ya.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago

Got it. We’ll put you down for the Southwest Veggie wrap.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 1 points 2 weeks ago

They fund orgs that literally torture gay children. Yes, we care.