Comic Strips

[old joke]

Joe dies and goes to Heaven. An angel meets him and says they are going to see his Mom.

"How did you know I wanted to see my Mom?"

"This is Heaven, we know everything and everyone gets exactly what they want most."

Joe's Mom loved flowers, and he finds her in a beautiful garden that goes on for miles and miles. Next he visits Dad, who has a 100 story tall garage with every kind of car and a dozen different race tracks to drive them on. His favorite teacher has a vast library; his coach has a team of all the greatest players; everyone is wonderfully happy.

Then he remembers his Aunt Petunia. He asks if she's in Heaven.

The angel pulls out a monitor. Petunia is all alone in a giant city. She goes into building after building, laughing and clapping.

"Petunia always thought that she was the only person who deserved to go to Heaven, so we let her think she's the only one up here."

Ohhhh this is the bad place

That's why I find the idea of heaven to be self-contradictory.

One person's idea of heaven might be one where they don't need to worry about others wanting sex with them. Another's might be one where everyone is happy to have sex with them. And another might be most happy in a monogamous relationship where they are with their partner and no one else is even interested in their partner. (Also what about widows and widowers who remarry?)

Or hell, a simpler example: three people, one of which considers the other two their very best friends while the other two only like that one and would rather not spend time with each other.

So unless there's a new version of heaven for each set of desires (maybe even with a version of you that is happy there, to make those who want to be with you in that heaven happy), the whole thing will be great for some but probably miserable for many more (because you can't please everyone), which defeats the entire premise of paradise for everyone.

Not that this disproves anything, for all I know the many versions one might be the case or maybe heaven exists but is only fun for some people (which honestly is consistent with how religion generally works on earth anyways).

Edit: fixed a word, plus added the bit about widows.

Reminds me of a little story by Steven Fry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzfCtGFgRSk

The TL DR if you don't want to watch the 2 minute video.

If ALL of my dead relatives make it to heaven, I’d rather go to hell. Because a couple of them don’t deserve a good afterlife.

God takes off his mask, revealing he's actually the devil and this is Hell

Does heaven have a den or a basement or a garage I can hang out in by myself?

The theory of Heaven is that it's a utopian existence because it is filled with ontologically benevolent people.

Also, you're dead, so all those biological functions that produce anxiety don't exist anymore.

Can I get the version with just the pets?

Right, I've always found the idea of heaven terrifying. I've got access to all kinds of entertainment and gazillion ways of communicating with friends and family, and I still don't do that while all of us are alive and I'm easily bored or unimpressed, imagine now being immortal and in a place where everyone you've known exists and you can't even make excuses like work or physical distance etc., to me that's worse than life itself