Fuck it, make Trump the speaker. Maybe he'll fuck up supporting Israel so badly that Palestine can finally be free.
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
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"Some people might not like this but I called up Hezbollah and I talked to them on zoom. You know - the real guys. I like generals and their uniforms and their shiny - very shiny buttons - but real guys fight. They fight! The guys are the guys who fight. Fighters! But their English... Not that good. Really not that good." Laughs. "I really liked them. Strong and powerful. They respect me so I respect them. Then I talked to Hamas guys. I can't say how. No zoom. Secret, secret. Maybe Bibi gets mad because I didn't ask him for permission. But I'm the president - the real president - and why should I ask permission?
"I can talk to them. I can talk to guys. I can talk to whoever I want. I am the president. Hamas guys English even worse. But they love Trump so I love them. And tough. No food. No water. No electricity. Tough! And no army. No navy. No air force. They don't even have a helicopter. Nothing but missiles, guns, sweat, and muscles. How can they fight like that? Hard fighters with nothing. So I think maybe we should arm Hezbollah and Hamas because Israel is too strong. I'll be sad if all my guys die..."
That would also make him 2nd in the Presidential line of succession which would be hilarious.
~~I thought Kamala was next.~~
Wait a minute - I got it.
I just hope the house never gets its act together and the US government is joever forever
Same, it’s the absolute best and most funny possible outcome
Here's how Bernie can still win
Literally who?
Congressional Baseball
Oh, just someone who credibly may have called himself "David Duke without the baggage".
For reference, David Duke was not a nice guy.
was
Got my hopes up there for a second 
Ooh, sorry about that. Maybe I'm just putting positive vibes into the world, or maybe I mistyped. 🤔
zombie biden gonna thriller walk right into a second term lmao
I had a mental image of Biden doing Michael Jackson's impossible anti-gravity lean.
"Check this out, jack. Second term. Wheeeeeeeeeee!...."
I wonder how many times they threatened to shoot him
Bah....
Boom!
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My use of the spoiler tag is getting out of control.
Is there anyone with an actually viable path in? McCarthy only got in because he agreed to let them do this embarrassing thing to him whenever they wanted and the guys who imposed that before are still seemingly able to do that. I dunno if JJ has a better shot or what, it kinda seems like you'd have to be unwell to even put your hat in the ring.
My take is nearly the same: You'd have to be very unwell to even put your hat in the ring.
I really have no idea how they can choose a speaker. I don't see a path. The GOP dug their own grave.
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In theory the GOP could make a deal with the dems to appoint somebody "moderate". In reality - the chance of that happening is zero.
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In theory somebody could go McCarthy's route of making impossible concessions to get the speakership. I don't think that's possible at all. And even if it was - unless they are an abject idiot - they know going to get the shiv within months.
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In theory Jim Jordan could become speaker. But in reality - I think he'd go down in flames just like Scalise.
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In theory - I think they could get Trump to be some kind of special temporary speaker with a fancy title because Trump likes that shit. Special Interim Speaker? And they could have SIS challenge coins or whatever made so Trump could puff out his chest because he's important. They could fund Israel. But they'd do what Trump wanted on Ukraine which of course is not fund them. But even if Trump has speaker were possible - the moderates would be insane. They want Ukraine funded because it makes them seem sane and electable. Also Trump is crazy and he could force a government shutdown instead of stopping one. In any case - what happens when he leaves? They are right back in the soup again.
I thought I had a #5 but I ran out of ideas.
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Edit
I'm watching MSNBC right now and the situation is far worse than I thought. They are totally dysfunctional.
Please let Trump become speaker it would be so fucking funny
RE 4: they probably can just table bills with the speaker pro tempore right? like, i can't imagine this will prohibit them from sending israel oodles of cash.
I haven't actually read about the nitty gritty details about what they can do. Obviously - even if the law/rules didn't allow it - they could in theory work with Biden to create some sort of "emergency war funding" (quasi-)legal workaround. The real problem as I see it is that that a large percentage of the GOP house caucus is unhinged and delusional. With or without admitting it - they have internalized Trump's "strong and powerful" maxim to the point that's all that matters to them. They actually think that winning means you never, ever compromise with anyone, anytime, on anything.
Legally speaking - sending Israel money must be a bill that goes through the house. But I'm sure that Biden's team is hard at work in panic mode creating a big lie that sounds "legal" enough in case house GOP dysfunction goes on weeks more or even longer. Biden's team will somehow find a way. Israel will get the money. But how exactly? I have absolutely no idea.
Abby hoffman could release a greased pig on the floor of the house and it would have a better chance at becoming speaker than any of these clowns hahaha. Fuck nazi scalise.
Fuck nazi scalise.
Baseball game something-something in an alternate universe.
Abby hoffman could...
"What do you have to say about your electability as house speaker?"
"Oink, oink. Grrt, grrt."
"Could you stop that please."
"Grrt, grrt."
"Oh, no. I'm sorry, panel but I must cut this interview short with Abby Hoffman's Greased Pig. My trousers have gotten greasy and Mr. Pig seems to want to eat them."
"Grrt, grrt."
what a bunch of clowns
That dude is turning into a haunted ventriloquist dummy.