As a parent of two I really enjoy talking about this. It's such a complex, nuanced topic. Yeah you sacrifice a lot, sleep, time, sanity, but you kinda unlock a whole new level of your life, in your mind. I wouldn't want to change it back, ever.
Just yesterday I read about cultural neoteny. Our society is so safe, that people don't have to mentally mature to full grown adults anymore. No famine, no war, no oppression, no violence to deal with (yet). We can stay teenagers forever, being unable to deal with criticism, lacking resilience, unwilling to take responsibilities, cultivating out sensitivities that then clash with other peoples sensitivity.
Again, this is not the place for a long conversations, but I can't help but feel that the constant joke "look at those stupid parents giving up their lifes" may be a part of that. There is some truth to it though. I am a little burned out, I may have dropped some life goals along the way. But then again, what's the purpose of being alive?
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Web of links
- !linuxmemes@lemmy.world: "I use Arch btw"
- !memes@lemmy.world: memes (you don't say!)
You're not thinking the long game here!
You don't have babies to be happy, you have babies to indoctrinate them into believing your bullshit!
You're influencing generations to come! Just think, man! Think!
Christ this is dark. I'm not a parent and I feel like this.
The Internet used to be such a neat place. Why is it so shit ever since like 2020? Or is that just the whole world? Since 2017 maybe.
I had a thought yesterday: it sucks that after you die, you can't come back. AND that time just keeps flowing for everybody else after you're gone. What a great gift to be alive, at all, though. Why do some people feel the need to make it as shitty as possible for others?
I only sacrificed sleep a bit in the first 3 years until both my kids were sleeping through the night. In no time they are school age, then off to university. The people I often see represented by the women in the comic are those who are married to their jobs, not parents. If you don't want kids, fine, don't have them but many parents think their kids are one of the best parts of their lives. Things that are the most worthwhile in your life often take a bit of work or challenge.
Well this is a horrifying thread to read 3 months away from our first making an appearance
Its all true. The bags under the eyes. The stress. The moving your life into the closet. The rationing of self-care.
But the important thing is, it's still the greatest joy. Babies take everything from you, and demand more, but its still a fucking bargain.
Edit - also congratulations and good luck!
"I had no children. I haven’t transmitted the legacy of our misery to any creature"— Machado de Assis (1881)
Being a parent is the best. You wouldn't understand.