this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2025
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For context, I’m circumcised and expecting a son and my wife and I are torn about the circ. We’re American so from a cultural standpoint circumcision is the default choice. Thing is, there’s no real benefit besides practicing a religion we don’t believe in, and I’m uncomfortable about cutting the tip of my son’s dick off.

On the other side, I’ve met a guy who was bullied in high school so bad for it he got a circ as an adult. Apparently crazy painful recovery. I’ve also talked to women who are generally grossed out by uncircumcised men. I don’t want to make him feel like something’s wrong with him his whole life because I was uncomfortable with the idea.

From a moral standpoint I’m against it, but from a social and cultural standpoint I feel like I should do it? It’s a crappy situation. If there’s any uncircumcised American men who want to talk about their penis I’m all ears.

Edit: I really appreciate everyone’s responses I never expected to hear from so many people. With the decision hinging on social and cultural norms it’s been really helpful to be able to take the temperature like this. I obviously need to talk to my wife, but given the overwhelming support of dick hats I don’t thing we’re going to do it. Thanks, lemmings!

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[–] pan0wski 10 points 3 weeks ago
[–] arararagi@ani.social 10 points 3 weeks ago
[–] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 3 weeks ago

I'm not sure about all hospitals, but speaking from experience, at the one we went to, you had to coordinate the circumcision yourself with like a religious figure who will do it. They even gave us a pamphlet about the health risks and to not allow some religious traditions around the procedure that have caused infections in the babies and sometimes killed them.

I wouldn't be surprised if there are stats showing of dwindling rates in the recent generations. It could be that by going through with it, your son is actually in the minority of his peers, and would receive the treatment you wanted to avoid. Also, kids will make fun about anything, you're not going to be able to prevent that.

And to state the obvious, there's no undoing the procedure. If you're on the fence, let your son decide when he's ready, rather than making a life altering decision for him when you're unsure.

[–] SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago

Don't. I wasn't until my early twenties, due to failing all other options to treat the worst case of phimosis my urologist had ever seen. It was fine at first, but you lose sensitivity over time. Now I'm struggling to get that back and it's really difficult.

[–] Smokeless7048@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Never, I'm very happy to be in cut. Just wash myself in the shower, and it's more sensation and fun.

[–] dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago

I also think circumcision is wrong. My friend who is a nurse advocates for it because she has uncircumcised dementia patients who don't adequately clean their smegma but like, come on, you're the nurse and it's your job to take care of them

[–] favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 weeks ago

Consider that your kid may grow to resent you for the decision to circumcise him. However, if you don’t, and he later decides to get circumcised, it would be his decision. If you circumcise him, it can’t be undone, but he will always have the choice in the future.

[–] fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 8 points 3 weeks ago

Don't. It's a form of sexual assault that's somehow legal.

[–] greenfish@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

I think its a lot less common in the US these days. My 6yo isn't, and to my knowledge none of the little kids in the family are either. My friend has 3 little boys all uncut

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

My buddy had to get circumcised as an adult. Some weird infection. He's not like a gross unhygienic dude, it just kinda happened. I guess it was super painful and he was laid out for like a week. I know that's not the best argument for pro circumcision, but ya, there are reasons. I personally am uncut, and have zero intention of getting cut, nor would I cut any child of mine.

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[–] ConstantPain@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Never! Just wash your penises with soap, it's not that hard!

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 2 weeks ago

I have never ever wished that. But I'm also not American or Jewish so I wasn't bullied for being intact.

[–] 5too@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Adding my No to the pile, but also, heads up - we're in the Midwest, kept out sons intact, but we had to say no something like six times for each of them. If you decide you don't want them cut (which is my advice), make sure you're both holding firm on that!

[–] Ambiorickx@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Wahots@pawb.social 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I definitely would leave it up to them. It is a very long recovery to regrow that skin if they have regrets or issues later in life.

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[–] ArgentRaven@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I live in a flyover state, and was never teased in the locker room for being uncircumcised. No one even brought it up. Had they, I'm sure my response would've been "why you looking at my dick, bro? You hungry?".

Cleaning is as easy as any other body part.

I've never had a negative interaction about it with any girl. I don't think most girls know what they're looking at with a lot of detail.

My son isn't either, and I just showed him how to bathe properly early on (keeping in mind kids often forget it don't understand and need little of reinforcement for anything). "If you don't scrub a body part with soap, it isn't getting cleaned". That's true for armpits, feet, whatever. Never a problem.

It's amazing that most of the world is uncircumcised, and doesn't have a problem. It's only the United States where we have to chop off boys dicks?

[–] dil@lemmy.zip 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Some girls wont want to fuck him, but they'e the type of girls he shouldn't be fucking for the most part, btw its straight circumcised male writers that make girls be disgusted by it on tv and in movies. Some weird shit forsure, like girls asking for pictures but now in a hot way more in a curiosity way that is uncomfortable. Bitch you got google. He does have to clean it and shower daily, should be doing that anyways.

Idk, I think are densensitized and will never know it, id rather bust fast than not be sensitive down there, shit feels good when it needs to, like I can feel stuff done to the skin more than I feel my head, the idea of my head just dryly rubbing against my boxers getting even more densistized is wild to me. The skin is protection, and the skin itself has a lot of feeling. Imo ppl act like it doesnt reduce pleasure but I think its female genital mutilation adjacent, you just don't know what you lost. Adult cirmcusion is wild too, because you get the worst of both worlds, looks bad anyways

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[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

No, I have never wished that. But then again no one I know is circumcised

[–] Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

I've had women act kind of funny about it. Never had any complaints afterwards. I have sensitivity issues when i go long stretches of no sex (2+ weeks of I'm traveling) but if i use a cheap sleeve style sex toy in the shower just for a few minutes a day to keep the skin pliable and stretched.

I've never regretted not having it.

[–] Chivera@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago
[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

You can slowly pull the foreskin back at a young age as a daily routine.

[–] JohnnyCash@sopuli.xyz 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm still doing that at old age, as part of my daily routine.

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[–] maxxadrenaline@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

They say they circumsize because they dont want to have to clean it or it smells. a little funk is okay. i hate the catholic pressure to snip. i wish they didnt obsess over keeping it cute and neat i wish i had the choice.

[–] t0fr@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago

There will always be one kid who will try and find something to bully someone else about.

Not American, not circumcised and I never want to be.

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