Friendly reminder that the reason we get funny headlines like this from Florida is that the state allows the media full access to their police records so they can find stories like this
this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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But also because Florida is full of these.
So is my state, but they dont allow this type of thing.
It's fun to look up your birthday month and day and add Florida man or Florida woman to the search, and then look for the best headlines.
Synergy!
We're also the 3rd most populous state. It's also easier to get up to shenanigans when you're not locked inside by a 40' wall of snow and ice.
Also there's a bunch of absolute gibbering morons in the state. That also helps.
Judge: That's why it is called "driving under the influence", and it doesn't matter when the drinking happened. Influence is important, not the fact of drinking.
"I wasn't influenced by the booze. It was my own choice."
Defendant: Nuh, uh. Everyone knows it’s called “DWI”—driving while intoxicated—which doesn’t really help me either, does it?
"Your honor, I was not being influenced by the drink I had. It did not say or act in any way such that my behavior would change. Secondly, I was not driving while intoxicated. Intoxicated as defined by the dictionary literally says 'stupefied by alcohol.' that cannot have happened because at no point was I stupid."
Judges LOVE smartasses.
Eh my assumption is that this woman doesn't realize she's being a smart ass to begin with.
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Curses! Foiled again!
and it doesn't matter when the drinking happened
"Checkmate, I injected it!!"
I accidentally sat down on the bottle and shot it up my butt and GOOD DAY I SAID GOOD DAY.
*sigh *, it includes intravenous drugs.
I will not stop until I find some bullshit loophole.
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Lawyer: Dude, this defense is so rock solid.
Hey did you happen to get bit by a dog? 'Cause I'm kind of a mack at dog bites.
In Germany, you are allowed to drink while driving if you stay below the limit.
You will 100% get pulled over for a funny test, though.
Interesting. In the US, most jurisdictions have open container laws: A drink needs to be either factory sealed or in a place where it is not readily accessible (such as a trunk) or the driver is in violation.
There have definitely been times when I was buying alcohol and carrying it in the front was most convenient, but I gave it a second thought. Definitely put it in back so it’s never a question
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Funny test? A policeman tells a joke and... what is it, actually?
German has a word for it: "Try not to laugh challenge" (we have a lot of anglicisms)
You gotta blow this little whistle.
I hope this is the beginning of a new Sovereign Citizen style movement that uses hyper-literal misinterpretations of the law as a defense.
I feel like the law is not drunk driving but something more like "operating a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol level above something something..."
Yeah, it's usually Driving Under the Influence (DUI) or Driving While Intoxicated (DWI), not, "Drinking and Driving." But its not like facts have any influence over the Sovereign Citizen movement, so I don't see why we should start here.
This won't be a socereign citizen movement. It will be a literally legal learning lawyering.
New? People being people I'm sure we must have been attempting this kind of defense since Hammurabi, if not earlier...
When someone said they don't drink:
Wait, her argument is it's the act of drinking (actually passing the liquid into your mouth) that's illegal?
i guess she's going by the "don't drink and drive" rule, a little too literally. but the law obviously doesn't say that; it says under influence/while intoxicated, so even on a technicality she doesn't pass.
This is how little kids argue. lol
making fun of people's mugshots is conservative slop
imagine finding it fun to humiliate people you've captured with your unlimited monopoly on state violence, seems pretty fash cucked to me
I agree with the sentiment but there isn't a single post in this thread commenting on the appearance of the mugshot.
Pointing out apropos of nothing, that it's an appearance to make fun of, is in itself a similar behavior to what is being criticized.
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Im not seeing any other comments here talking about her looks?
And i think going after drunk drivers is one of the things im pretty okay with the state using its 'unlimited monopoly on violence' for.
Me too! #believefloridawoman #timesupatthestopsign
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People on the internet are quick to judge and never forget.
I'm not driving, I'm traveling! 😁
(I used to hate SovCits, but honestly tho, now Americans need more "SovCits" more than ever, there's not enough resistance. I kinda sympathize with them now, they're just a little confused, but got the spirit. Where all the "anti-tyranny" people at? 🤔)
(Edit: And yes I see the article is from 2024)
I don't think sovcits care about the larger picture of legalism, per se, as much as finding loopholes in it that they can then close after themselves. The ones who want to share their, uh, "discoveries" about manipulating The Man seem to want to sell what they know at a premium.
Everyone knows the rules of Kario Mart.
Was about to say this. Excellent drinking game. I used to always shotgun mine at the start and drive uninterrupted and tipsy the rest of the race. Good times.
Winning strat.
Any real kario marter knows that being in last on lap 1 is an advantage. 👏
My spirit animal
When I was like 4 I went nuts on my mom for drinking and driving. Nevermind that it was a diet coke...
I was that kid, too, but about smoking.
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