this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2025
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[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 53 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Swede here, if you want an Ikea worthy name for this, I can see two options.

  1. Franson - old word to call someone a frenchman, it is also a surname meaning "son of Frans", Frans is a name derived from the Latin name "Franciscus", meaning "frenchman".
  2. Dalman - the last executioner in Sweden was "Anders Gustaf Dalman", he is also the only Swedish executioner who used a guillotine in an execution.
[–] Sidyctism2@discuss.tchncs.de 27 points 2 months ago

I would prefer something more like

HEDFÄLLA

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A good marketing angle would be to call it "KINDNESS"

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Nope, Ikea uses Swedish names.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That is better, but I don't understand why you want to name an execution method "kindness" or "vänlighet"....

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Killing them with kindness is a common english phrase.

[–] stoy@lemmy.zip 11 points 2 months ago

Ah, it is a pun, I think a normal name is better though, then you can say something like:

Him? oh, he had a meeting with Franson, there are so many cutbacks these days.

Alright Mr. Trump, Mr. Dalman is here to see you.

[–] Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's Ikea so it would have a delightful name like Nögginflogger

[–] oftenawake@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] oftenawake@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

Neksknittå?

[–] andicraft@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago

nah it would be called HUVUDSAKLIG

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

4 out of 5 stars. I loved the real pine and I went with the antique finish which really complimented the blood of the nobility. Minus one star, though, as the neck hole was unable to close entirely on some obese (and unusually spray tanned) necks and required adjustment.

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

the price seems a bit bourgeois

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Steel prices are through the roof with tariffs

[–] _AutumnMoon_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

We could take over a home depot. They have everything we need.

[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Surely it could be done with a plastic blade topped by a bit of stone for weight.

Sure, one might have to pull it back up and let it plunge back down a couple of times to finish the job, but that's alright.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 points 2 months ago

The piece of plastic that would work would cost more than the steel. Why not just drop a large rock on their heads. Clearly the guillotine wasn't gruesome enough to serve as a deterrent. Maybe that will be.

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 14 points 2 months ago (2 children)

It's made of compressed sawdust and honeycomb newspaper, with a pleasant plastic veneer that holds everything together. The screws are all very soft and strip out easily, the ones with Philips heads are actually Pozidriv but they never include a Pozidriv driver so those will strip too. The blade is some chickenshit low-end material made from recycled soup cans that bends and flexes all the time, the edge is barely honed.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So we get like what? 3 beheadings before it breaks? Still worth it for a HOA board

[–] HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

If you do get a good model, IKEA will discontinue it.

[–] avidamoeba@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago

The newspaper is The Wall Street Journal and all the allegedly recycled content is virgin, just the lowest grade possible.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Three hundred dollars?! 😩

Maybe we can pool our resources? Everyone, empty their pockets and lets see what we got!

I have $0.89, a paperclip, a receipt for a doughnut and some lint.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 3 points 2 months ago

I got a crazy idea on how we can get a refund after we build it.

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Lint and a train ticket here.

[–] Hayduke@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

That design does lend itself well for flat-pack. Needs a collapsible basket, though.

[–] JeeBaiChow@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Is this the new hedröll fitment?

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Unfortunately, pen pushers and local organizers create and maintain democracy, not executioners.

Even if we root out all of the fascists, if we don't change anything then they will return next year.

[–] tinyvoltron@discuss.online 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Anybody got an STL so I can just print one? I'll use wood filament for authenticity.

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 months ago

The blade weighs about 40kg, you'll need some sort of filler

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 3 points 2 months ago
[–] WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

Wait, you mean going outside with a pithy sign on a Saturday isn't enough?

[–] StopSpazzing@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

No thanks. Wood chipper is the 21st century model and imagine the show and noise!

[–] charonn0@startrek.website 1 points 2 months ago

Ask Robespierre how that works out.

[–] commiunism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Yeah, we'll fix our ((democracy)) by killing all the ((bad people))

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 months ago

It worked in France!

Er... Wait...

[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 3 points 2 months ago

Yeah, we'll fix our ((democracy)) by killing all the ~~((bad people))~~ ((Rich people))

FTFY.

[–] Djehngo@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, use of the kit somehow wound up with a military dictatorship and an imperial empire?

[–] commiunism@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 2 months ago

That's fine, just replace the words in parentheses with something wholesome until problem solves itself, or everyone is dead

[–] zjti8eit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago

what's with the parenthesis? Are you a nazi?