this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2025
416 points (97.1% liked)

Not The Onion

18330 readers
1109 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] IndridCold@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

I'm sending him spiritual attacks in the form of thoughts and prayers karma comes for him.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

This dude is like the faux intellectual conservaties Joe Rogan, I'm genuinely sure he has a mental conditon as well, so I try not to shit on him too much.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 9 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

hes called a pseudointellectual, his psychobabble in his earlier years seem like its a good idea, but if you dissect it, its meaningless gibberish meant to give mostly Men false hope. someone like kirk is anti-intellectual and pseudointellectual.

[–] merdaverse@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Ok, which one of you jokers paid the Kirk witches to hex this guy?

[–] DarkSurferZA@lemmy.world 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Listen man, if this was a thing, I have a list...

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

You should get that list hexed

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 14 hours ago

JP has been under the influence of benzos hexes for a quite a while.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It was the Antifa Spiritual Warfare division.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 7 points 23 hours ago

Field Marshall Soros was very pleased with the success of the operation led by Colonel Greta

[–] Plurrbear@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

“You can't escape destiny! She comes for us all, that relentless bitch”!!!! Hahaha! And still the most valid quote from “New Girl” ever! 🖕🏼

And as Charlie’s Kirk, your homie would say… “he would rather prefer sympathy”. 🤣 WE HAVE NONE! 🖕🏼

Karma comes for us all, in any life, and guess what… it’s coming for this douche and SORRY NOT SORRY. LETS GO!

See you and hear you, NEVER AGAIN!

I hope you come back as a dung beetle or suffer in hell forever! (Whatever you believer) lol!!!

I am so usually such a great person but America is making me so different! I have lost my faith hence why I say… fuck em!

[–] Jhex@lemmy.world 47 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Isn't it amazing this asshole got rich by spewing BS focused on "alpha males" and a full on "macho" attitude, yet they avoid any personal responsibility like it's acid.

It isn't the many drugs this guys has taken all his life.... nooooooo... it's a spiritual attack from someone else

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 14 hours ago

it seems he never fully recovered from his benzo addiction, plus he had a coma that had complications too.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think it's more amazing that anyone could take "alpha male" advice from a guy who's this much of a wimp

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

putin funds him so, he is important to bring in more men into fold of manosphere/conservatism, by saying his pseudointellectual psychobabble.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

Yes but the shocking part is that it works

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Maybe he should clean up his room.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

and stop petting that moldy cat.

[–] Juice@midwest.social 28 points 1 day ago

I love how much his grifter daughter is trying to kill him. Dragon of chaos goes hard

[–] Jaysyn@lemmy.world 41 points 1 day ago

Oh good, the spells are working. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 202 points 1 day ago (17 children)

So, the champion of cleaning your room :

  • Is addicted to drugs
  • Can't keep a room tidy for shit.

Amazing.

load more comments (17 replies)
[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 79 points 1 day ago (31 children)

I don't like the man, he seriously sucks, but he needs an official wellness check. He's clearly becoming increasingly mentally disabled and things like this keep happening in his daughter's custody.

That's not a spiritual attack, it's mold induced pneumonia in a man with brain damage. He could easily be less capable of resisting the mold. Why the fuck was a man with brain damage trying to clean a moldy room without assistance‽

Like, seriously for all I hate the man I really get no joy from this, I don't want him taken away as punishment or anything, I'm mostly concerned for him. I don't think that the Peterson of a decade ago would be putting the Peterson of today in these positions.

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 49 points 1 day ago (3 children)

My empathy is with the mold in this conflict.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 31 points 1 day ago (8 children)

He absolutely would if he thought he belonged to one of the out-groups to be persecuted. This fucker has shown no empathy towards others and has played a big part in the rise of fascism we're seeing today. He deserves no pity.

load more comments (8 replies)
load more comments (29 replies)
[–] dontbelievethis@sh.itjust.works 96 points 1 day ago (4 children)
[–] CatsPajamas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 17 hours ago

This could also be zizek without the crying.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I never wanted him to get sick. I just wanted him to stop forcing his opinions on the public. Can't he just holler at the TV like most older folks?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] PalmTreeIsBestTree@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I guarantee his daughter is poisoning him so she can take his place and make even more grifting money

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

Legitimately. After seeing the vultures trying to put on Charlie Kirk's skinsuit it seems like the way to rise up in the grifting ranks is to kill the current grifter and take their place.

Edit: I don't think people state enough that charlie kirk had hundreds of millions of dollars at age 31. He was well on his way to retiring as a billionaire. The guy was literally a sellout and now there's at least a dozen grifters lining up to get at the billionaire money-faucets he had.

[–] PalmTreeIsBestTree@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

The dude never worked a real job since he was 18. He just did his schtick till he died.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›