this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2025
-4 points (47.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

35014 readers
1657 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Looking for:

  • no misogynists (so dbzer0 is out)
  • no libertarians, no marxist lenninsts, no tankies, no rightwingers
  • people who understand climate change is real
  • leftists including anarchists, social democrats, democratic socialists, communists, etc are great

I picked world bc I was told it would have the most activity. Since joining Lemmy I have been repeatedly harassed by men on this instance, threatened with murder and rape by users including open Nazis (this was also happening on Reddit), and permabanned for being a woman, for being a feminist, and for not breaking any rules and posting factual news sources. Would like a better instance.

Have been considering solarpunk Lemmy but willing to consider other instances, just not sure

Eta: I'm looking for a recommendation of an instance, not your personal opinion on my experiences or feelings. If you are not going to give me the name of an instance you'd recommend, don't comment.

Here’s an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/

• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.

• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.

• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.

• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.

Here’s an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine

During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).

(page 2) 41 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Sounds like you should run your own instance. We all have preferences about who we want to interact with, and we’re prepared to tolerate some things.

But for complete control, start and moderate your own instance. It would be an interesting experience, if nothing else.

[–] plyth@feddit.org 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Have been considering solarpunk Lemmy

That instance seems to be a good match. lemmy.blahaj.zone could be a second option.

[–] Lilium@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago

Blahaj zone is lovely

[–] callyral@pawb.social 5 points 1 day ago

lemmy.blahaj.zone seems nice, though i'm on pawb.social and haven't had any issues.

also, blahaj.zoje has a piefed instance as well, im fairly sure.

[–] tal@olio.cafe 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

If you want a more-politically-censored environment, I guess you could try beehaw.org. They tend to enforce positivity and restrict some political stuff and are into creating a "safe space".

We want to explicitly make a nice little corner of the internet where we can hide from racist, sexist, ableist, colonialist, homophobic, transphobic, and other forms of hateful speech. We want a space where people encourage each other, are nice to each other, are supportive and exploratory and playful.

It's not really what I'm looking for in a home instance, and there's a limited amount of activity there, but I'll give that they seem to have a userbase that seems less suicidally-depressed than some other home instances on the Threadiverse. Note that they have defederated from lemmy.world, as they don't feel that it fits with their policies, so you'll have more-limited access to content than on most home instances. Also, I remember seeing that they were considering moving to some non-Lemmy platform (Pleroma? Can't remember), so if you specifically want Lemmy, that might not work for you if they do such a move.

EDIT: If you take your requirements literally, I think that you're going to have a hard time finding an existing instance that will fulfill all of them. Beehaw.org might be closer, but it's just not going to get you that far. Like, you said that you want an instance with no libertarians. I lean right-libertarian, so any instance that I could use would already be violating your requirements. I think that such an instance would probably need to require users to up-front state their political views at registration time so that that information would be available, disallow users with banned political views from access, and only federate with a small, whitelisted set of instances. The closest thing to that, where I think you have admin-level policing of political views, is probably on the tankie-oriented instances, and you've also said that you object to tankies.

You could set up an instance yourself and only federate with a carefully-curated set of instances that have similar instance and federation rules. But that's also going to obviously seriously limit the content available. Maybe hit !newcommunities@lemmy.world and try to promote it to any like-minded users.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don't actually care about censoring like that, I think most communities, if they speak up enough individually, create their own culture that is self enforcing as new people learn their roles. This is supported ny how users on different subreddits will adopt different cultures automatically without even knowing the rules. In the earlier days, this was when mods would simply DM you or comment to you to ask you to change your comment and explain why. There was a lot more grace and gentle enforcement/explanations rather than strict bans or complete removals, which helped cultire form as a lot of times mods would help with word choice.

Funny enough, reminds me of an adhd subreddit where the rule was that you couldn't use the word "you" at all, because people with ADHD often have demand hypersensitivity triggered by the use of "you." And no exceptions allowed because that's confusing for English 2nd language speakers. They were always demanding edits lol

Even without all that, most people can pick up on culture just by the reactions of the users.

I am just looking for a space that has attracted like, queer anarchist scientists who like to talk also about politics, philosophy, economics, and understand trading stocks and how marketing and the news moves stocks. It's a simple request (jk)

[–] Chezus9247@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (5 children)

I think I really need a ELI5 about those instances. Like, I thought the instance doesn't matter, since I can see comments from users outside of lemmy.world? I feel so dumb. lol

[–] Skavau@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago

Some instances have different policies of conduct. Lemmy.world is a pretty general instance, so it won't really impact most people.

[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

After another user's comment, I really don't think I understand it myself lol

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I've been happy with sh.itjust.works

[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Agreed. Excellent instance with excellent admin team. Us users can be a bit awful, though.

Same. Nobody fucks with me here, and that’s just the way I like it.

[–] Temperche@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 day ago

discuss.tchncs.de

[–] dataprolet@discuss.tchncs.de -2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I just want to say I'm truly sorry for your experience. Unfortunately Lemmy is also run by mostly men, probably mostly cis, hetero and white.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›