Ask Lemmy

Self defense isn't being "off."

Being angry isn't being "off."

These are reasonable reactions.

Here's an article on tone policing: https://www.housing.wisc.edu/2023/12/inclusive-language-series-tone-policing-2/

• You need to recognize the indicators of tone policing, such as telling someone to calm down or to lower their tone for their message to be better received.

• Understand that various levels of emotions will often be expressed, especially during political or hot topic conversations.

• To refrain from invalidating other people’s feelings, try self-reflecting on your desire to invalidate their emotions and think about if this is due to your own discomfort.

• Tone policing must stop, especially when engaging in conversations regarding experiences with discrimination, oppression, and racism.

Here's an article on hysteria: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/hysteria-historical-mirror-misogyny-medicine

During the early 20th century, women were thought to be unfit for politics as their biology made them prone to hysteria. The suffrage movement became linked to hysteria and mental disorder, due to propaganda from the press and the government (Iglikowski-Broad, 2018). Attempts at militancy in their pursuit for equality were branded as hysteria by anti-suffrage supporters, demonstrating how use of mental health could be used to belittle the efforts of the women at the time (Thompson, 2016).

You are promoting the idea of hysteria. This is offensive, and this belief results and resulted in women being enslaved with no trial in psychiatric (torture) facilities - something RFK Jr is literally actively pushing for. And you're helping him with your rhetoric and responses, validating the idea that angry women are hysterical and "off" when pushing back against abuses by men, and that men are the reasonable ones by default and entitled to treating women bad. Is it reasonable to comment on a woman's thread with personal attacks and denials of her experiences when she is asking for a simple instance recommendation? That seems like instigating to me. But no, no, these guys are totally fine and I'm off.

Would you like me to find all the comments I was responding to? The ones that promote pedophilia, rape, and subjugation of women? How exactly is the normal way to respond to that? Tell me, oh men, how you want to police my emotions. If only I could be a perfect victim like you.

Maybe just post the responses you write to the rape threats you get. Since obviously misogyny on here isn't real, so the rape threats are something everyone is getting, right? Not just me. So post yours and show me how I should be responding to these attacks which definitely are all in my head as being misogyny. Go ahead.

Do you think Francine Hughes was wrong for setting her abusive husband on fire? The courts found her to be reacting noncriminally to her abuse in a landmark case for women's rights in the 80s. Do you even know about that case? Or do you think women should ALL be quiet and just put up with abuse from men?

I used to think you might be cool because Eugene is cool. Not anymore. You've done quiet a bit of patriarchal enforcing here - this thread was about recommending an instance for me to move to, and you're spending your time here trying to police with others whether I've personally experienced misogyny on Lemmy - that was never the point of the thread in the first place, yet you all feel SUPER COMFORTABLE dismissing my own words, experiences, and what I want.. With no evidence except removed comments that show I'm upset at what is being said to me - not even the comment I am responding to. Why is that? It's like you're pushing a patriarchal narrative for the boys club. Shame on you. May the way you treat women come back on you tenfold.

https://shawngude.substack.com/p/eugene-debs-supported-womens-suffrage

I can still see the aversion so unfeelingly expressed for this magnificent woman. Even my friends were disgusted with me for piloting such an “undesirable citizen” into the community. It is hard to understand, after all these years, how bitter and implacable the people were, especially the women, toward the leaders of this movement

You should change your username. You don't have the spine or values to share his name.