this post was submitted on 09 Oct 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 33 comments
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Save their dick picks to have a collection at hand so when someone sends you one you can reply with one too.

Also report these fuckers to the police.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I bring this up every time someone says this but the reason guys do it is because it works. Not all the time but enough times that they'll keep doing it.

[–] WhisperingEye@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

That is just sad, from both sides 😅

[–] truite@jlai.lu 7 points 1 day ago

I'm proud of my cat when he brings a prey, a mouse or a leaf, and I pet him. If he doesn't eat the mouse, I absolutely touch it because I don't let dead mouse in the kitchen. I won't do that for a dick. Please don't put your dick on my kitchen floor.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I've never kissed any guy that sent me a dick pic

[–] Atkat@leminal.space 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My cat Lucy likes to catch mice outside, bring them inside to show me so she can show off her skills, and then accidentally let them go so it falls on me to handle them.

And I mean...it sucks when we're talking actual mice but like...the other thing... I really wouldn't complain at this point if they were to...fall on me to handle 😂

'Cause tbh, I haven't seen one of those hanging out in my bedroom for way too long. And if the cat could just catch them and bring them to me? I could delete all the apps. Dream come true.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Atkat@leminal.space 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Hahaha amazing!!!

I feel now like my language choices before...perhaps they made it sound like I wanted my cat to bring me just the dicks, no man attached to them, haha, but no. It was just a synecdoche, having the man be represented by a dick, lol. Like how people call their car their "wheels" though wheels aren't the whole car. Or more directly how men might say they're going out to try and get some p***y, when they mean an entire woman.

And of course men have other parts to themselves thatcI appreciate. Take legs for example- pants require legs so they can be worn, and pants are where the wallet pocket hangs! Legs are also essential for getting them to leave my place when we're done. 😎 (So joking, I promise. I'm not really like this at all. 😂).

All this time in life wasted though, only ever engaging with the permanently-attached-to-a-peron ones of these (silicone not withstanding). I just didn't know there was another option!

Could you imagine something like this scene playing out though: say a guy shells out for a cool new surgery to make his penis detachable. Its a success! He goes to see his girl later, when it's all healed up. Soon after the girl's upset and starts yelling at this guy she's dating, because he was getting a bit too handsy and she was really trying to have a serious conversation with him.

She's like, "COULD YOU PLEASE, like just this once, STOP THINKING WITH YOUR GODDAMN F-ING DICK so we can actually TALK about what's going on with us?".

Then to her surprise he's just like, "sure", then he reaches down into his shorts, detaches his detachable penis, and pulls it out for her to see it for first time detached. You know, the pull out method.😂

Would she be stoked or horrified I wonder?

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Ah, a fellow lover of metonymy. I hope your cat brings you all the dicks attached to people that you could ever hope for.

[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I never felt the urge to send a pic myself like that. I even remember a girl sending me a bunch of nude photos and then messaging asking me for some of myself. I pretended I didn't understand what she meant and played dumb. She still got to see it and all, but still.

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 15 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Same. On the handful of occasions I’ve been asked I still don’t want to do it.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Huh. I've only been asked once. Figured it was a bit strange, gladly sent it anyway, not insecure on that issue.

Maybe it's an age thing? I'm GenX and nearly ever lover I've had is as well.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Just gonna leave this here:

[–] rdri@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Unfortunately that seems to be an AI slop.

[–] porksnort@slrpnk.net 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

None of the women I discuss ‘making it’ with want these sorts of pictures.

All of the men do, badly.

Dick pics are for dudes.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Had dozens of lovers and only one actually asked for a dick pic. Weird, but I sent it. Got laid anyway!

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 17 points 2 days ago

Use tongs to remove the offending item from the area.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Cats still have a cute, innocent reason for doing so.

[–] CurlyWurlies4All@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Why do i never receive dick pics? Do you guys not want validation from me?

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

We can fix that, tho, we'd have to trade fototeta for fotopeta

[–] Masterkraft0r@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well actually

cats bring you mice because they think you are just a big cat but you're a shit hunter. so they kinda care, in a somewhat disgusting way. In contrast people who send dick pics care mostly about themselves and are disgusting.

[–] kadu@scribe.disroot.org 9 points 2 days ago (4 children)

That's a myth and a bizarre misinterpretation of how ethology studies work. It's incredibly bothersome to still see this being repeated around.

I get it sounds cute and the media loved posting about it, but no, your cat does not see you as a big awkward cat that can't hunt.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)

they are however actually quite social animals and they're clearly bringing it to you, so it's a good bet they want to share, not because they think you're incompetent but just because family helps each other.

"hello human i love you very much, let's eat this mole together :3"

[–] kadu@scribe.disroot.org 2 points 1 day ago

Absolutely, you're right.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My cat stopped bringing me his kills pretty immediately after he saw me catch a rabbit barehabded that he was going for to remove it from the yard.

[–] kadu@scribe.disroot.org 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

My cat likes to shutdown my computer

[–] Dozzi92@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Yeah, it's killing your mouse.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Also, cat behavior can vary wildly from one to another. I had a cat that hunted and ate his kills. Cleared my mice-in-the-walls problems! He never left me a present.

Had another cat that not only showed zero hunting behavior or play, she showed none of the typical behavior we joke about.

Also, none of my cats have ever brought me a present.

It's been 35-years back, but after 4 professors from different disciplines recommended Desmond Morris' books, I dived in. He believed that cats and dogs saw us as cats and dogs, just a different sort. I may be misremembering, but he did write about that idea in relation to dogs.

So that's no longer the thinking? I never felt that my cats viewed me as one of them, but my dogs seemed to. But that's probably me anthropomorphizing.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago

i think it might be that dogs view themselves as one of us, we did specifically breed them to be more like humans after all and they're constantly surrounded by us.

Obviously they recognize there's some difference though, since they clearly treat other dogs differently. They don't really expect a human to go running around with them, but another dog is expected to share in the zoomies.

[–] Dreaming_Novaling@lemmy.zip 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Okay, but at least cat cares about you and wants to meet your needs. What does an unsolicited dick pic do for anybody?

Dick pic is selfish, kitty is not

[–] kadu@scribe.disroot.org 2 points 2 days ago

That I can agree with

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

And you just ruined what was otherwise a very relaxing afternoon.