has to be #1. Can eat soup comfortably, will balance in hand well without your hand touching the soup. Still small enough to stir coffee.
this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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Sorry but in my house that’s the cat food spoon.
The one with all the ridges that's hardest to clean?
That’s why it’s the cat food spoon, baby. Blast it with the nuclear hot water and move on.
you just got to work your tongue out more often, buddy
GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL
Seriously, someone with internet search powers, please tell me where I can get number 3. I want to carry it in my pocket at all times and reveal it in the middle of conversations like a badge of my goblinage.
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GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
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VELGOBLIN ASS-SHO
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LGOBLIN ASS-SHOVE
No more soup for me, i guess.
I choose no spoon
I'm with you. All those spoons are abominations.
#4 looks like a shoehorn. Is that even concave enough to use as a spoon? Likely not. That's out.
#3 is definitely not a spoon. No idea what it is, but it's not gonna work well as a spoon. Not gonna deal with that one.
#2 is actually a spoon, but a small one. It'll be frustrating to use forever. I'd prefer not to use it.
#1 is actually a decent sized spoon. Oddly shaped, but it'll hold a decent amount of food or liquid. I guess I could live with that one.
3 looks like my grandmothers sugar spoon from one of those little jar and spoon sets
It doesn't say we get a fork or knife, so I'll choose 2 for it's pointy/stabbing ability.
Mooooomin spoooon
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Four looks like the only one made of stainless steel. The rest will have a flavour.
#1 looks like tarnished silver. That's clean up easy.
Do we know if it's maidenless?
Silver actually interacts horribly with and ruins the flavour of some foods. There’s a reason why silver cups often have gold plating on the inside to not ruin the taste of wine.
I’d stick with the steel any time.
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Childhood memory of surprisingly disgusting pudding 🔓
Why wouldn't anyone choose 1? It's just a bit blocky, but a spoon nonetheless.
And the question said eat, so small spoons are available for cooking or jars when needed
It's the only thing that would even work inside a mouth. Don't get me wrong, I still don't want it, but 1 is the most spoon-shaped and endurable.
It's tarnished and might taste funny. Plus it's got those weird ridges which would bother some of the neurospicy peeps until they learn not to suck it like a goddamn "lollipop" when they're eating.
If 4 is some weird ass moomin spoon like I think it might, definitely that one because fuck yeah moomin!
Otherwise it has to be the goblin shovel.
#4 -> melt it down, make 3 normal spoons
the availability of spoons is not the matter at hand
#3. It has a little guy!!!
Number 4 because its the biggest
#1.
Otherwise, you're a fucking moron.
Nooo the creases would drive me crazy
impossible to clean
Don't clamp down on the spoon like you're trying to pay rent with alternative options
you die a few weeks later, unable to clean your utensils.
3 and use it to threaten OP into letting me use a normal spoon again.
OP's lawyer here
I discussed your request with my client, and we decided to move forward with accepting it.
However, it's up to you, yo approve this decision. Your options are (a) use spoon number 3 for the rest of your life, or (b) use a normal spoon for the rest of your life.
Keep in mind that:
- You can only use the chosen spoon, no matter what the circumstances. For example, it doesn't matter if you forgot it at home, or you are trying to eat a steak.
- You may wash your spoon, when necessary.
- You use other tools for other jobs. Rule 1 only applies to eating.
- You may not change spoon if it breaks, or gets contaminated.
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(6 replies)
in spite of myself i choose Saucy Goblin Spoon and am angry every time i eat cereal until i die
Do you hate soup?
I drink soup from a sports bottle. Like an Olympian.
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2 is the only one that doesn't look so big it won't fit in your mouth.
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2, all the other ones can go to hell holy shit i'd cry if i had to eat with them (yes, i'm neurodivergent hello)
But 2 is spiky in the back and it will stab your lips when you pull in out of your mouth.
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None of the above, I will use my fingers instead.
- Nice handle length and it's small enough to fit into most containers of anything I'm likely to need a spoon for
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I'd definitely pick 3.
First of all, if you can only eat with one spoon, you might as well pick a cool-looking one. Imagine being at a social event and people are handing out spoons to eat soup or whatever, and you're like "no thanks, I always eat with this spoon I brought from home". That would be kinda cringe and weird if you pick a spoon with a boring basic design. But if you pick the third one with it's interesting demon handle, it's gonna make you look mysterious. People are going to wonder and ask you about the story behind the spoon. Women will giggle at you and ask if you'd share the spoon with them.
Secondly, it has the most generally useful shape. Being smaller than the others can be very useful for eating from some containers. It has corners instead of being perfectly round, which allows a bit of scraping. But because the corners are rounded, you don't have to worry about leaving scratches or carving microplastics out of plastic containers.
My fingers. My. Goddamned. Fingers. Fuck you. I'd rather go through the sensory hell of shoveling chicken noodle in my gullet than use any of these textural monstrocities.
Looking to introduce the spoon thing for non-autistics too eh?
Easy, #4 doubles as a poop scoop
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