I have a tortoise female sterilized 4 year old indoor cat called Bubi. She is very shy, afraid of most things, we can't even have a walk with her, because she just rushes back to her carrier bag outdoors. Provided that she doesn't hide when she realized we are going somewhere (we only go to the doctor because of this). She is very hard to pet, doesn't like to be held, and only accepts petting when she is on her safety blanket. However she can get wild when playing with toys or just with me hiding / catching her.

Why we think it would be good to introduce a new kitten:

We are moving soon. We think that this could be a great time to introduce a new kitten, because it will be a new territory for booth cats. We will be able to separate them easily, as the new home will be bigger than the current.
I'm working from home so I'll be able to support the entire adaptation period on booth sides.
Despite we try our best to entertain Bubi there are times when she just sits down, stares at us, and meows till we move. When we do, she hides, and expects us to find her and play. At least that's what I think. With a new kitten she might find her play buddy.

Why we think it would be a bad idea:

Moving is stressful. We had her travel to relatives for a few days, she was very curious, active but rarely interacted with us, she was busy with exploring the dangers of the new place.
The previous experience was the only one when she met other cats, it was a senior sterilized male cat. She was very curious about him, didn't leve him alone to the point he had to hiss on her to declare he doesn't want company. Bubi however only seemed curious, she didn't hiss or try to attack. Not sure what the next step would have been from her side.
She recently had one of her eyes removed because of confirmed melanoma. The entire experience was very stressful for her, and I still notice some tiny things that changed in her behaviour compared to the past (for ex.: she doesn't fight back when we play. She used to chase me and playfully bite my hand, now she just runs away). Other than this, she fully recovered.

On the other hand we (me and my girlfriend) are ready for a new cat, new home is big enough space, we have experience thanks to Bubi, and know the responsibilities.

At this point we are not sure how good or bad idea would be a second kitten. I'm very careful (maybe even too careful), so I'd like to make sure I make the best decision, and prepare for everything.

Currently the plan is to see how she adopts to the new home, if she eats, plays and not afraid to come out for days then we might give it a try. However currently I'm against the idea, I don't want to face Bubi with even more stress, but because we are moving I feel like there won't be a better time than this.

We already have a contact with one of our friends, where there are ~month old kittens that they want to give away by the time we move in. We will have the option to return the kitten if something goes horrible, but that would be a heartbreak for us. I feel like the worst that could happen is that she never accepts the new kitten. And to find that out that could take months.

So I'm curious about hearing your thought about this topic, and experience if you have any.

Thank you!

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[–] Rappe@sopuli.xyz 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Pheromone vaporizators work wonders. Just make sure to pre-emptively set it up like 2 weeks prior. Not magic, but helps massively in my experience. Might help with your resident cat's anxiety long term, too.

I would not under any circumstances do the introduction of a new cat during a move or shortly after, as you said, it will just add to the stress of the resident cat and prolong the process needlessly.

On top of that, best way I have found is have the kitten in one room, and every day introduce the kitten's smell to the new cat. Smells are incredibly important for cats.

Take it slow, do short controlled "shows" for the resident cat, show the kitten far away, don't let it too close too quickly, that's when defense kicks in and it prolongs the process.

Overall, be patient, go slow, don't force interactions, pay close mind to body language. Majority of cats will get a long as long as the introduction is done properly, and on their terms. How long it takes is highly dependent on the individual cats and their tempers. From your post, it could be on the longer end of the spectrum.

Have a worst case scenario planned out before making any choices. If it seems like there's no way, you will have to accept that as well, and be ready to rehome the kitten.

This is a good video about the subject: https://youtu.be/tsYT7yIOdqQ Jackson Galaxy is a weird dude, but he does know cats.

[–] neutronbumblebee@mander.xyz 5 points 4 days ago

I think your right to be cautious about the timing, cats are very territorial and can take a couple of months to trust that a new place really belongs to them. I guess the breed and personality of the kitten would be the key to harmony because your present cat is already mature. If they can coexist then they will eventually accept one another but seperate feeding areas help. They will try very hard to invade the others space on day one so it can be job to keep them separate.

[–] QualifiedKitten@discuss.online 1 points 3 days ago

It sounds to me that Bubi's previous experiences with travel/moving and other cats happened before she lost an eye? How long ago was that? That has the potential to make all these upcoming changes even more stressful for her than they were when she was younger (more adaptable) and had both eyes.

I understand the temptation to add a new cat when the territory is new for both, but I think it would be much kinder to Bubi to try and minimize the number of new things she has to adjust to at once. You could designate a room in the new place that Bubi won't have access to as the room where a new cat would eventually start out. That would allow Bubi to acclimate to her new home, and then when she's ready, you still have a space for the new cat to start out in that isn't actually taking any territory away from Bubi.

If you want to adopt a kitten, I strongly recommend adopting 2 kittens. Kittens have waaaay more energy than most 4 year old cats, so a single kitten is likely to annoy Bubi. With 2 (or more!) kittens, they'll have an appropriate playmate around with a similar energy level, and Bubi will be free to engage only as much as she wishes to. If you're set on only one more cat, an older kitten (6+ months) or adult cat might be a better choice. You could also look into fostering as a way to test the waters without a full lifetime commitment.

Also, I highly recommend Jackson Galaxy's guide to cat introductions. There's 5 parts: