Poly relationships just sound exhausting.
this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2025
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I have recently found myself in one, but like... Not in the whole thing? I'm just as confused as the cat mom. I am seeing a dude who is in a poly relationship, but I only see him. He has so many other boyfriends that the guy literally schedules every hangout to try and give everyone equal time and attention.
Which I kinda love about him.
I couldn't imagine juggling multiple relationships, let alone one.
Too much work. If I want to disappoint a lot of people I’ll just go to a family reunion.
Are we in Alabama?
It can be, but shared calendars make things soooooo much easier
Open ones like the fox does I imagine are.
Closed ones are much simpler. It's like monogamy but with 2 or 3 more people.
That's how I used to roll. A close relationship with any person comes with a certain amount of inherent drama. Adding more people increases that drama, typically somewhat linearly, but it can be exponentially if everyone is involved with each other. Closed is much more predictable. Someone like me can't handle open, I'm not emotionally resilient enough.
Honestly, the biggest thing is open communication and planning.
Sounds exhausting
Do you not... already openly communicate and plan things with your partner????
In this scenario, you only communicate with one other person, while the other person communicates with several others. Maintaining this kind of relationship sounds exhausting.
One partner. Not 7.
In my experience, which is limited, it's not as hard in practice. Especially if you're just involved in the relationship and not trying to actively coordinate it, you just kinda do whatever as time allows.
Yeah I've been poly for the better part of a decade and yeah there are those people, and you hear about what's going on with them a lot because there's always so much going on. Meanwhile there are plenty of us who are generally in stable situations though we may have occasional flings when the mood and energy strike.
"relationships" bro that's a group chat 💀
Mine's fine. My partner is also dating someone else and that person is awesome. Sometimes my partner is gone for a weekend, which means I get the whole condo to myself, can take up the whole dining table with my hobby mess, and can order delivery food that would give him heartburn (instead of ordering from someplace he can also order from).
Sometimes his girlfriend visits us, which is a great impetus to clean the condo. She's also a great cook ☺️
Imagine having multiple people texting you to pick up some milk on the way home.
I can definitely see it being more exciting than exhausting, but to each their own.
This reminds me of a reddit post I participated in years ago where women were discussing what they love about their partners and it all boiled down to just "don't be mean and communicate"
My last GF and I, we've been through a ton of shit. We've yelled, we've argued, we talked, then hugged and made up again. I haven't always been the best partner, and I could probably point to times when she was unfair too, but we must have done something right for that relationship to last ten years.
As of a few months ago, she's my wife. We've already had our first married argument, though I don't think we really marked the occasion, because it wasn't a big deal at the end of the day. You know what helps a lot with marital spats?
Years of practice in communicating.
I'd love to listen to all that yapping. Not into poly stuff just sounds interesting on a relationship dynamics level. Keep doing whatever you're into and also maybe send me like a weekly digest
Honestly, that's a caricature. Of course that is utterly overwhelming.
Most poly is nowhere near that, but just a person dating a person who also happens to be dating another person. End of story. The "quad dates" are ludicrous, and the foxy cat(?)'s explanation shows she's way too involved in relationship that don't, uh, involve her. Back off, be happier.
In their defense, they don't sell unhappy about their situation. Let them enjoy their super involved polycule drama that I agree is probably nowhere near reality.
Some people thrive in drama.
My opinion on this is the same it would be with any cis het relationship: toxic bullshit happens from all ends of the relationship spectrum, as do drama seekers. If someone started talking like this to me like it was just normal I'd rid flag tf out of it and steer clear. Your life should not resemble reality TV. That shit is exhausting.
That's a fairly busy poly life but not weird. Totally cool to not want to be involved in it but that doesn't read as toxic to me assuming everyone knows where they stand, well until the drama panel, but I've seen plenty of monogamous relationships have similar levels of drama
Chesca is the weird cat. Cats are polyeros and promiscuous.
However, her foxy friend is really queer.
Hi, Google? Gonna need to borrow your quantum computers. Yeah, all of ‘em, and put in massively parallel processing configuration. Correct, I’m making a supercomputer out of your quantum computers. Hasn’t been done before? Welp, first time for everything. What’s it for?
I need the quantum supercomputer to figure that out.
Ah yes, Homestuck