this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2025
74 points (98.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

34871 readers
1098 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 47 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] csm10495@sh.itjust.works 2 points 20 minutes ago
[–] ViaGetty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 41 minutes ago)

Being restrained, beaten, and bitten, then made to orgasm as many times as master wants.

[–] RodgeGrabTheCat@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 hours ago

Laughing at stupid people usually does the trick.

[–] bert_brause@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

A cold shower. It takes a huge amount of effort for me to actually do it, but if I do, it's the best thing ever. Immediately changes my mood, literally cools my head down and I can't think anything else except "ahhhh cold!" while doing it.

Afterwards it feels like a big accomplishment.

[–] sadfitzy@ttrpg.network 7 points 5 hours ago
[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 3 points 5 hours ago

Mindfulness meditation is sometimes all it takes. Your mental state is often fully under your control, and in those times you can choose to put down whatever you were upset about and then move on with being happy.

"Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realise your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control." – Epictetus

[–] JoeTheSane@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

Pet my cat Woodworking Reading Watching After Hours or OPCD Hanging out with my wife (100% effective)

I try to find even 10 minutes alone to decompress and watch what little nature I can. Usually helps a bit.

That or a short walk or stretch, both good.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 8 hours ago

Caffeine, a snack, and something short and silly to watch like an old College Humor video.

[–] remon@ani.social 3 points 8 hours ago
[–] 200ok@lemmy.world 10 points 12 hours ago

I'm very lucky to have a friend that doesn't try to make me "feel better". She just sits with me and makes me feel... not alone.

I hope I can return the favor one day, but more importantly I hope she never feels this level of despair to begin with.

[–] HakunaHafada@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 10 hours ago

A solid nap.

[–] RebekahWSD@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

Kissing a kitty belly.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 5 points 12 hours ago

Getting harder and harder but my go tos are walks and baths and my dog. food and drink is nice but tends to get into more of a wallow situation. that can be nice sometimes though.

[–] Generica@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

My go-to since 1983 is listening to the B-52s album Whammy!

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 23 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Nothing. I just kind of ride it out. Every day.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 12 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 13 points 16 hours ago (2 children)
[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I'm glad you are open about it. That's a good thing. Are you open about it to anyone close to you in your life? Or not close to you? A therapist even?

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

I've been out of work since April. Trump stop funding the government department that employed me. Instead he sends troops to cities. As an American I can't afford a therapist. Even if I had insurance I've had nothing but bad experience with therepy. I don't have family that will help me. I'm going hungry most days to stretch my budget.

In a couple months I turn 40.

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Judging by the other answers here you should get a pet. I hope you are seeking help.

[–] MisterNeon@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago

Pets annoy the hell out me. I hate animals to a point where I became a vegetarian years ago. I'm not trolling, I'm 100% serious.

[–] whaleross@lemmy.world 13 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

My dog. Him being happy makes me happy.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 5 points 14 hours ago

This is usually it for me, but recently I'm feeling down because there's a strong chance that my just-turned-one-year-old puppy will outlive me. By a lot. And then her life would be depressing because my partner would largely leave her home alone, not play with her, not take her anywhere, and not keep up with her medical needs.

Meanwile, I don't actually want to live as long as she should and I would feel so guilty leaving her behind, even if I end up having little or no control over it.

So I alternate between living for my dogs (the other one is getting old, so I don't worry about this with her so much) and wishing that I had never gotten the puppy. But of course, I got the puppy so I wouldn't kill myself when the older dog dies. It's a conundrum.

[–] Whitebrow@lemmy.world 20 points 18 hours ago

Cat head bump.

[–] skeezix@lemmy.world 1 points 9 hours ago

To go see how many russians were eliminated on the day.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 12 hours ago
[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 15 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Cats, sex, drugs and food. In that order.

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 6 points 17 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 14 points 16 hours ago (2 children)
[–] victorz@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

If you're in a rough mood, you would rather pet your cats than have sex if you could choose, is what you're saying? Not judging, just trying to gain perspective.

Male/female/other?

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

Sometimes what we would choose isn't what's best for us.

There's just something about sitting in a depressed lump on the couch and having a cat hop up and snuggle into your lap that does wonders for your psyche.

I am male, the cats vary.

[–] 200ok@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago

I love them

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 14 points 18 hours ago

It's all chemical for me. Eating, hormones, etc

[–] FigMcLargeHuge@sh.itjust.works 3 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

A nice motorcycle ride. When I am on the motorcycle everything just disappears and I am hyperfocused on the ride.

[–] toomanypancakes@piefed.world 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

My dad's been trying to get me into that, I've gone on a couple rides with him on a 1970s Yamaha 500, I forget the exact model. I focus mostly on what I'm doing and what I need to do coming up while I'm riding, don't suppose you know how to stress less and focus on the experience more while you're riding? Is it just an experience issue?

[–] FigMcLargeHuge@sh.itjust.works 3 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

As a rider for 40+ years now, I can honestly tell you that I still get the jitters at times, especially when I am on a new bike but I don't compare that to stress. I find that even when I am nervous on a bike, I still get off the ride and have less stress than when I started the ride. It's been a long time since I was a new rider, but I have watched a couple of my kids get started and remember the feelings when you are trying to figure out shifting, clutch work, braking and the rest of what goes along with it. I think you nailed it on the head though, and experience will make that part of the ride all but disappear into muscle memory. When you get comfortable with that part of the ride I find that's when it becomes more of a relaxing time for me. That might sound wrong, but it's not like I let my guard down, it's more like the feeling when you are so focused on one thing that everything else fades into the distance. When I am out for a ride things like bills, work, all of the stressors of life just take a backseat. I also don't play music while I am riding, although I do have a couple of tunes that my brain seems to just belt out as I am going along. That's when you know you are in the zone, when you start singing a song to yourself. I have two songs that come up all the time, and oddly enough they aren't really the type of music I listen to, but hey the brain is a funny thing. First is the Smokey and the Bandit song - Eastbound and down... And the second for some ungodly reason is the opening theme song for Gilligan's Island. Don't ask..

I am curious what other riders have as their head music when they are riding. Now get out there and ride more with your Dad. I am sure it means a lot to him to have you along. You are welcome to ride with me as well. And let me know what song pops up in your head when it happens.

[–] Quazatron@lemmy.world 12 points 18 hours ago
[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago
[–] FRYD@sh.itjust.works 10 points 18 hours ago

I have a playlist of songs that I can’t stop myself from singing along to. That usually helps a ton.

I drink fizzy drinks and eat chocolate as comfort. Usually Pepsi Max and Cadbury's Dairy Milk.

It's a bad habit, I know.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

Sex.

I can coast off the high from a good fuck for about a week.

[–] Zathras@lemmy.zip 7 points 17 hours ago

Cuddling with the pups

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 5 points 16 hours ago

Frozen custard, and a nice afternoon siesta nap.

[–] j4k3@piefed.world 6 points 17 hours ago

Ride a bicycle into my, I don't fucking care about anything pain zone

[–] johsny@lemmy.world 5 points 17 hours ago
[–] AshCircuit@lemmy.zip 4 points 17 hours ago

Tea, or Descenders on the Xbox