this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
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“You are a babbling fool and we have built a temple to madness.”
We done made the good cookie that everybody like, and now we get to go home!
Oh Brennan....sure going to miss that guy.
At least now I’ll be able to outfit my current American Girl dolls with some proper shoes instead of the current garbage out there.
I didn't know which ones were real, so here's the list
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Oreo_varieties
It looks like it might be an incomplete list, sakura oreos weren't mentioned and I'm pretty sure the funeral cookies were real too.
https://www.tastingtable.com/1847560/best-discontinued-oreo-flavors/
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I want a Gwyneth Paltrow vagina flavored Oreo.
I’m thinking you probably don’t
You don’t know me I have like fifty vagandles.
"Oooo what flavor are these Oreos?"
"Rainbow....."
"Ooohhhh yum gimme"
"....trout."
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They taste like Selena Gomez. What do you mean what are they? You act like this is complicated. I mean it says right there in the outside of the cookie tray wrapper. They've been putting the flavors in the outside for 30+ years. They wouldn't just change it up on a random whim.
Selena falls into mixer during tour of factory.
Worker races to turn off machine to save her.
Oreo PR person stops them: "Wait. I think I know how to turn this disaster into a gold mine."
Selena Gomez is in the cookie, how much clearer could they be?
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At my office, we've been trying every varietal that Oreo has released and we've been tracking our thoughts on them in a spreadsheet. Tbh, there's been some pretty vile ones, like the Coca-Cola Oreos and the Sour Patch Kids Oreos, but every now and again they do actually drop a banger like the Blueberry Pie Oreos.
I find that the freaky Oreo varieties taste great with the first one, but the more you eat the weirder they seem, until by the end of the bag they're certified nightmare fuel. The Apple Pie a la Mode variety is exactly like this. TBF sometimes I eat the entire bag in 10 minutes, so that might be part of the problem.
Apple Pie especially was bad for this, the first one was like "wow they nailed that!" and then 2-24 were like "what the fuck is this now"
Its the same with the special edition Pop-Tarts. The first Eggo or Apple Jacks bite is amazing! Then you get halfway through the box, and you start tasting an artificial chemical after-taste. By the end, you're trying to offload the last toxic tart on to an unsuspecting coworker...
As boring as it may seem, this is what our data shows as well. The average varietal is worse than a standard oreo, often because you start to get sick of the flavor. Meanwhile, the current highest rated Oreo is the Oreo Loaded, which I can best describe as an Oreo flavored Oreo. turns out classic Oreo is just hard to beat.
I tried the swedish fish Oreo once and can accurately say they are an offense to God and man.
Lemon Oreos are dangerously good.
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I posted this when I first saw them, and people in the comments said they're like the Mexican hot chocolate, with some cinnamon and spice. Apparently they're pretty good.
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!
I always laugh seeing how much they shrink the packaging every year. Some of these packs have like 10 Oreos in them.
I know, and I hate it to the core, but I have considered that they might actually be inadvertently helping humanity (at least in the US).
WE DONE DID. THE GOOD COOKIE. THAT EVERYBODY LIKE. AND NOW, WE GET TO GO HOME
Thank you so much for validating my brain rot. This was my immediate thought as well.
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Also wondering about the texture of those oreos: is it finely grained like a smoothie or more coarsely minced with gomezy bits that stick between yer teeth.
Its just the cream part in the middle thats Gomez. They grind her up with a bunch of sugar and push the Gomez out of the extruder between the two cookies.
I know I’m trying to boycot the US, but I did try them and they’re way better than regular Oreos.
They have both chocolate and vanilla, and they have cinnamon. They’re sweeter too.
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