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this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2025
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My washing machine has the ability to connect to Wi-Fi but I never set it up. Of course it's a horrible idea just on the surface and it really serves no purpose.
Funny thing is, some of these devices have the ability to comb through public or unsecured access points to search for a way to send data back to the manufacturer.
Look up Amazon Sidewalk
That is precisely one of the applications I had in mind - but presumably Amazon charges vendors for that access, and what I'm describing is passive on-circuit logic to seek a free channel home.
I didn't want a reader to think they're safe if they just opt out of sidewalk (and somehow convince all their neighbors to do the same)
I'd argue that that's not a funny thing at all.
Perhaps that explains why you're not this guy's friend … but several seasons of Family Guy, South Park, Adult Swim, and similar programming suggest that poop and piss jokes have a fairly broad audience.
Again why do you care if some adult somewhere has fun running around with a sticker and a sight gag of soiled slacks?
In theory it could be useful to be notified when it's done if you're out of earshot of the washing machine. In practice I don't trust any manufacturer to make a machine and app that limits data to just that functionality
In theory it could be useful to be notified when it’s done if you’re out of earshot of the washing machine.
You can do that without a smart washer/dryer, if you want, by looking at the power draw. My washer/dryer don't have any network connectivity, but I still get push notifications on my phone when the cycle is finished from a python script monitoring power draw on each circuit in my home via an IoTaWatt and influxDB.
This is what your phone timer is for
The time on the display rarely matches the time the machine actually takes to complete in my experience, especially for dryers.
In my building it's exactly 2 minutes less than on the display, probably because it saves the laundry contractor money without being enough to spark complaints. It's condominiums, so complaints can cause the Board to change companies.
I think some home machines use sensors which would make the timing less accurate.
I'm cool with being notified of my laundry being done and being notified of issues. The problem isn't those kinds of features. The problem is that stealing data and company control over your device is a built-in future.
That, and the current fascination is removing options and controls from the machine and putting them only in the app. Presumably this is to entice you to use the app rather than simply ignoring it, as most people would otherwise do. The issue is that on the inevitable day they turn the servers off, you lose access to those features. Plus, how do you like not e.g. having a delay start feature at all unless your dishwasher is connected to the internet?
It doesn't take much of a leap to predict that step 2 will be locking features behind a subscription paywall. We all know damn well that's coming soon.
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why THE FUCK does a washisng machine need wifi??
People dumb enough to think they need to be notified of when their laundry is done, whether washing or drying, instead of being aware of their surroundings.
I got a dumb washer and dryer because why would I need to be notified? Once you do a cycle or two you know how long it'll take to finish.
what the hell. I'm not in school anymore. I shouldn't have to learn anything like how long it takes my washing machine!!!
So, ostensibly, to allow you to check on the status from your phone or get completion notifications, probably. But in reality, they want to gather as much data as they can about you and use that to sell things to you. IoT device data can provide far more insights into your life than you expect. Suddenly using the washer more, using different settings than usual? Someone else moved in or you have a new baby. Washer not used for a while along with other devices? You're taking a vacation. Et cetera. Those details make targetting ads to you easier.
Airing dirty laundry?
Crypto mining?
Recorded audio, sent back to the corporate office to be transcribed and sold to 3rd parties.
Yeah, is it really necessary to somehow control your laundry while you're at work? You start it before you leave, and when you get home, it's done. It's not like you can use your cell phone to move the wet clothes into the drier anyway, so who cares?
And what kind of data are they collecting, anyway? How many times I do laundry? It's not like they can tell which brands or products I'm using. It seems like useless empty data.
I use it to get a notification when it's done. It seems like the timer is kind of a guess as it seems to actually take longer than what it says when the cycle starts.
Yeah, but if you are at work, do you really NEED to know when it's done? And when your at home, can't you just check it? Or even just listen to hear if it's still running? Mine lets off a loud buzz when the cycle is over anyway.
WiFi in a washer/dryer is the solution to a problem nobody has.
I can't hear the alarm in my office and get focused which causes me to delay further. It's the system that works for me.
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