this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 15 minutes ago* (last edited 11 minutes ago)

Surely toilet paper would be a more appropriate medium to carry his semblance.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Isn't the word "minted" not more correct as this is about commemorative coins?

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 1 points 37 minutes ago

Not if you just slap a sticker on them. It's also cheaper that way.

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 24 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Will probably be a MAGA coin that isn’t even legal tender so Trump can fleece his followers even more.

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

It'll cost as much as a gold coin but will be made out of zink.

[–] pineapplelover@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 hours ago

It will be gold plated to be sold as "gold coin"

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 14 points 4 hours ago

Fast forward to 2030...

" That will be 13 Kirks"

" Here's a Rogan and a Shapiro, keep the change"

[–] RedC@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Silver dollar coins? Can't wait to buy as many as I can so I can melt them down and use them as Antifa challenge coins or something along those lines.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 17 minutes ago

they'll be silver-ish

[–] letsgo2themall@lemmy.world 9 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

if they do, just draw penises on his face.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Stamp. Someone will come out with an easy-to-use stamp that defaces these coins in a uniform way that can't be removed.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 15 points 7 hours ago

Making the currency even more worthless...

[–] Deflated0ne@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Make it a bill so we can wipe our ass with it. Burn it. Deface it. All that fun stuff.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 2 points 3 hours ago

They'll be going full China and make it a crime to deface the dear leader.

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 14 points 8 hours ago

I assume Charlie-Kirk-Lied is going to be the party anthem too?

[–] echo@lemmings.world 42 points 13 hours ago

What a fucking joke...

[–] Draegur@lemmy.zip 13 points 11 hours ago

They're going to double, triple, quadruple down. They are prepared to die on this hill although they don't expect to. There is no reasoning with this scum.

[–] f1error@lemmy.world 42 points 15 hours ago
[–] LoremIpsumGenerator@lemmy.world 11 points 12 hours ago
[–] thespcicifcocean@lemmy.world 9 points 11 hours ago

I will rob a bank just to burn those notes.

[–] poccalyps@sh.itjust.works 81 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Fuck, if we are putting streamers on currency I vote for Pokimane.

[–] PhobosAnomaly@feddit.uk 8 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I vote (illegally) for MetalJesusRocks.

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[–] HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

These coins will never circulate.

Commemorative coins like this are usually sold at a significant markup (even beyond the fact a "silver dollar" has about $30 worth of silver at today's bullion prices. Some of the markup is often set aside for a fund-raising purpose.

These will go directly into the albums of coin collectors, who to be blunt, tend to skew old, white, and MAGA. (If you go to a coin show, there will be plenty of right wing and Trump paraphernalia).

The ironic thing is that "really successful" commemorative coins tend to not appreciate well, because they glut any market. The most valuable modern coins tend to be either stuff that was deliberately underproduced (example: the 1996-W silver eagle that was only available with the purchase of almost two ounces of gold coins) or stuff that was ugly and unexciting and so they produced far less than the original allotment.

There are plenty of people who drag down their inheritance of 1970s proof sets, mail-order/shop-at-home products that are $10 worth of coin in $100 worth of packaging, high-markup bullion items, and market-glut commemoratives, just to discover that Grandpa should have bought AAPL instead. Often the "investment" didn't even beat inflation, and in the worst cases, they actually lost money in nominal dollar terms. I suspect a bag full of Kirk dollars would be a red flag to any appraiser in 2050.

AKA the Beanie Baby Effect. Everyone thought beanie babies were going to be collectibles, so everyone hoarded them and tried to keep them in good condition. The result is that they’re all basically worthless, because everyone who would want them already has them.

[–] F_State@midwest.social 2 points 4 hours ago

Reminds me of comic books. Comic books had a boom, with some selling multiple versions of the same issue with different covers "for collectors" and enthusiasts snapped them all up, kept them safe, stored them in plastic, went out of their way to make sure their collections were complete, only to fall on hard times and find out their collections were worth a fraction of what they spent on them when they tried to sell. Turns out that the Early Spiderman or Superman comics were worth alot of money because most printed copies ended up in the trash creating scarcity.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago

the strokes didn't work, but seeing Charlie's massive dome on a currency before his own crusty mug will definitely do it.

say hello to president couchfucker.

[–] leftzero@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 13 hours ago

Well, with the coming hyperinflation they're going to need to print a lot of new notes, wouldn't be surprised to see his face on the trillion dollar note, usually used as toilet paper due to being much cheaper and more abundant...

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 101 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

Never Harriet Tubman though.

I wonder if there's a reason why? Anyone know???

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 56 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

She rescued what, a few thousand people? Kirk offended millions!

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 35 points 16 hours ago

Mysteriously, so did Harriet Tubman.

[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 17 points 18 hours ago
[–] kelpie_returns@lemmy.world 59 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (5 children)

I hate the idiots in charge of this country.

Does anyone living in a sane country wanna do a greencard marriage thing? I'm a good cook, enjoy keeping my space clean, and am a fairly experienced flatterer, if that sweetens the pot any.

.....pretty please? :(

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 18 points 17 hours ago

Oh, shit....yeah. I'll take you.

.......wait. I also live in America.

Fuck.

.........I mean.......you wanna go out anyways? I am hungry with a messy apartment.

I would compliment your cooking so good!

[–] oxysis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago) (1 children)

Anyone want to do that for me too? I might be disabled but I am very funny, I can do pixel art so I can make stuff for you, I have good style and can help you dress well, I can sew so I can mend your clothes! You can also have all my steam games!

Please get me out of here :(

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[–] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 7 points 15 hours ago

So we made it to the "Russian bride" level already. American Spouses

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[–] selkiesidhe@sh.itjust.works 16 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

Surprised the fat fuck hasn't ordered his own nasty face to be put on all US currency honestly...

[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 hours ago

There absolutely are commemorative Trump coins made out of gold, sold to rubes at several times the price of the metal.

[–] Khanzarate@lemmy.world 7 points 13 hours ago

There's a law that you have to be dead first.

Obviously that's not a hard barrier to him, but it means he needs to take more effort. He'll get to it, I'm sure.

[–] qevlarr@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago

Horst Wessel

[–] khannie@lemmy.world 32 points 18 hours ago (3 children)

Ah lads..... You've gone too far now. C'mon. How in the name of sweet baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all his carpenter friends is this not an onion? C'mon now. Seriously.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 16 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

The timeline jumped the shark. Reality is too absurd for The Onion to parody.

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[–] thelittleerik@lemmy.world 15 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

ANYTHING BUT TO RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES. FUCKING ANYTHING.

[–] don@lemmy.ca 25 points 17 hours ago (8 children)

Misleading title, they’d be coins:

The bill calls on the U.S. Treasury to print 400,000 silver dollar coins with Kirk's face on them, Republican Representatives August Pfluger of Texas and Abraham Hamadeh of Arizona told Fox News. In addition to Kirk's image, the coins would include the message, "Well done, good and faithful servant." They would be minted with the year 2026 and his full name on them, according to Fox News Digital.

Also "Well done, good and faithful servant." is absolutely nauseating.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 15 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

I hope this causes Sacagawea and Susan B. Anthony to rise from the grave and bitch-slap some motherfuckers.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

Please let it be a low denomination coin so I can have trains run over his face.

[–] jaemo@sh.itjust.works 9 points 16 hours ago

A much more original way to devalue your currency than the Romans.

May it go to zero.

[–] BigMacHole@sopuli.xyz 12 points 17 hours ago

Good! BETTER a WHITE MAN than ANY Women or Blacks or Gays! And if this Offends you SUCK IT UP this is what Charlie Kirk preached!

[–] ptolemai@lemmy.world 8 points 16 hours ago

A fresh attempt at currency devaluation

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