Yup. American Evangelism summed up in one picture.
this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2025
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It's practically a motto: "Optics, not substance."
You can only miss the point if you ever aimed at it.
If they're too lazy to even perform during their performative gestures, what's the fucking point?!
They should just send a guy out there wearing a life size replica of Charlie Kirks head like a theme park mascot yelling "OBEY" followed by whatever they want their cult to do/feel/etc.
Holy shit this is the most accurate metaphorical depiction of modern Christians I've ever seen.
But it's so heavy though.
It's probably made out of balsa wood
I'm guessing Papier-mâché
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Holy shit this is so hilarious and so fucking awful. Jesus would be so pissed.
Now I'm imagining Peter Thiel pitching Jesus an easy button as an alternative to sacrificing himself for the sins of humanity.
Look at me! Look at me! I’m doing the thing! Look at me!
Vanity will get you sent to hell bro. Hope you know.
Turns out following the teachings of Jesus Christ and being a good person are too difficult for most Christians.
why didn't Jesus think of that? Was he stupid?
Jesus would have survived crucifixion if he'd tried harder
On the other hand, I think he nailed it.
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American style Christianity described in one image.
False. The cross is not self propelled with a $20 a month subscription.
With a black guy already nailed to it.
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Pretty sure I heard a parable/fable/story about some ~~asshole~~ impious person doing something like this back during catholic catechism
It’s a perfect metaphor for the performative Christianity they love: all show, no effort
He's wearing a suit for fuck sakes.
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Let me symbolize the suffering that ~~I know others can’t escape~~ that is expected of others while making it easy as possible on the rich guy virtue signaling for their own aggrandizement.
E: words.
It's also way undersized. Look at how wide it isn't. They'd be nailing his elbows instead of his hands. It ought to be much taller and thicker too.
the og cross was supposedly 9' x 6' and 300lbs according to my quick Google
ps I nearly did a Stonehenge and called it 9"x6"
IIRC, they did not carry the entire cross, the vertical member was permanently installed. They carried the horizontal portion and were basically hoisted by that into place
the vertical member was permanently installed
that's a cigar-waggler of a line
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Arrived from the heavens, died for our sins, but in the third season he was resurrected.
Welp, that gif is retired now.
The convict had to carry a horizontal beam (patibulum), 1.5-1.8 m long, to the place of execution, from the place of flagellation. His hands were tied to the crossbeam with straps. According to Roman source literature, a person condemned to crucifixion, he never carried the entire cross, contrary to customary faith and contrary to many modern recreations of Jesus’ path to Golgotha.
I googled this text to find the source. It goes on to say that the crossbeam alone weighed 45kg (about 100 lbs), so he could at least carry that much of it...
it makes sense as they'd be prepping the uprights while the executed were in transit - digging immense post holes and filling them with posts and packing the remainder so it stays upright.
It makes it possible to utilize those uprights later for other executions as well. It makes sense now that I'm thinking about it.
Have a hill with the uprights in place. Strap the condemned to their own little crossbars and hoist/mount them to the upright when they arrive.
yeah man, I just get the strange feeling that most people, even christians who fetishize crucifixion to a disturbing degree, realize how much effort, time and site prep a good upright post to support the ritual takes.
but the romans, heh, they were engineers. planners. builders.
christ never stood a chance!
Practicing what he preached.
Wait until he gets his 30 lashes with the pink feather boa. That's when the crowd goes wild.
Hey when you're making up the story you can control the entire narrative
It's rather poignant I think.
After all the guy they are honouring only ever paid lip service to the religion. So they should to.
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