It’s a dude btw.
this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2025
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why she is doing all this? What are her motives? What kind of person is she?
She wants to play games with people. Her motives are to have friends to play games with. She is a gamer "type of person".
As to the not texting you first thing: one possibly is she gets a lot of unwanted male attention from those who over-interpret her niceness as romantic interest, and she is really leery of encouraging anyone. She might be afraid you have such interest.
Lets say your worst fears are correct and this "female", is trying to keep you as an orbiter. Get over yourself, you had no claim to her time.
She was willing to spend time with you before, probably because she thought you were genuinely interested in her platonically and wanted you as a close friend. You caught feelings and are blaming her for her actions and assigning motives to easily explainable actions. you crossed the line, and she pulled away. Shes a social person and wanted many friends. Even if she was interested in you at some point, you said/did something that superseded that. Maybe she felt like you werent reaching out to her enough. but my guess is using the word female unironically to describe a person.
Seems to me that she "Intended" to hop online, play some games and talk to strangers. You should probably back off and re-evaluate how you view people especially women.
Open Book by: Cake https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=YUkLbsc6434
Heres a song, very relevant to your situation.
Consider that you might have started being annoying. Some people just like freedom or are used to it and when they feel like you're becoming demanding and at the same time not perfectly matching their lifestyle, they subconsciously distance away. I don't really know anything about this, this is pure speculation, so take it with a grain of salt. But tbh I think I'm a bit like this myself.
You can stop being friends with people at any time for any reason. You liked them then, you can ask them if anything changed and that you liked them previously but not a fan now. Then if they don't want to act like that anymore you leave the relationship. It sucks but she's not going to be that person anymore, it seems like.
Sounds a bit like overthinking. People come and people go. It is especially fast online. Maybe a bit sad, but there are just plenty of people out there to interact with
As someone else said, it seems pretty obvious that you two have different asynchronous goals. Be a gentleman and let her be; poor girl.
It really wasn't the case at all, I can assure you that. I really don't pursue people if they didn't like me. I have confirmed with her many times, if I was bothering her and her answer was always no.
I want to all to think from my perspective. My assumption is she was collecting these friends and was liking all the attention they were giving her. She gate-keeping her friends to only herself and not letting us all be one group is kinda telling something I believe.
Who knows. Maybe. But for the love of god, don't think if a women is talking to you it has to be out of romantic interest. Place yourself in her shoes. You're talking to a guy that's good at a game you like, so you team up. Great. You talk about your life ecc, like you would with a friend. Because he is your friend. Then your friend stops playing the game you liked and nonetheless reclaims that you spend time with him because, well, he's infatuated with you and though you two had something going on without any evidence; completely misunderstanding your intentions and betraying your trust. Idk, I wouldn't feel like hanging out with him anymore.
Just remember that there are male-female friendships and not everything needs to be romantic.
Have you ever suspected any of your male friends of doing any of this?
If a gaming friend started asking me about my intentions with other gaming friends that they don't know, I'd be VERY creeped out by that. It sounds to me like you were looking for more than friends and got disappointed when you discovered that she just wants gaming partners.
