Ask Lemmy

Take a fuckin' nap, and then a week to myself

Release the Epstein files, and since they won't need it anymore, transfer Trumps and Elons Cash to me; afterwards start a looooooong list of cash transfers to everyone NOT in the Epstein files. I hope i don't age while time is stopped, because that might take a while. While i'm at it, go down the list of Top 100 richest people and fucking do it again. Keep a respectable sum for myself, but only in the "me and the closest to me will never have to worry about money again"-region, not more.

Steal Denuvo's encryption keys.

Defenestrate Putin (and Medvedev just to make sure the war ends), then pull the same move in Israel. Personally slap every Russian and IDF soldier who willingly went into war.

Destroy all the North Korean artillery and rockets aimed at Seoul and place notes in front of SK politicians informing them about the new situation.

Dismantle the surveillance networks - all of them. Let every Citizen know how much information their state had about them - except for Cartel/Mobster types, those i put on skateboards like cardboard cutouts and let them ride down a steep hill into prison gates.

Do i still have time left?

Nuke USA and 3rd world countries like switzerland

First, I take a long rest. Then, I might nap a bit.

Lots and lots of reading and learning. Especially languages

I got a house full of books, notebooks to write my partners notes, and sleep. If it seems to last more than I don't know, a month? Probably walk to an Ocean, then see if one can walk or drive across one. Try and figure out why time seems stopped.

Suffocate or get immolated trying to move from the friction of the now solid air mass.

Is there a time limit?

Quickly get into every missile silo and jerry-rig a way to remote control them, move all the personnel out of the silos, lock access, set up cameras in all of them, then find a way to resume time. Once time resumes, announce that I have control over all the nukes, launch a high-atmosphere blast near DC, Moscow, Beijing, London, Paris, to prove it, become a global dictator.

A benevolent dictator, of course. (pinky promise 😉 just trust me bro 😈)

No idea. But did you hear about the thousands of neonazis who all died at exactly the same time? Crazy stuff...

Click (2006)

Catch up on sleep.

Immediately panic. Why did it stop? How do I start it? Am I still aging? Can I still die?

Fuck FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck

Possibly arrange for some billionaires to meet their demise.

I scream "Stop! Hammer time!" and then go looking for a hammer.

reference

boobs

for legal reasons and to avoid the community burning me at the stake I will provide no further context.

Do I retain my inertial momentum? If so, I immediately slam into the ground or shoot up into the sky, turning into a fine mist or burning up instantly, or both.

If the planet (and the universe) stop moving, but I don't, I'm dead, haha.

Similarly if we say that I don't retain that momentum, what happens to my ability to see? Light is no longer travelling, so I'll be mostly blind? Will I be able to move through the air, given that I'll be pushing on time-frozen air molecules? If I can move them by exerting force, are they sufficiently sparse that they have somewhere to move that doesn't require pushing even more frozen air, to the point that moving becomes very difficult?

Will air that I've moved continue to move after I breathe it out, or will it go back to being frozen in time, such that I can't sleep or stay in the same spot for long, because I will build up an unmoving cloud of CO2 around my face and die?

What other ways can you think of that would make pausing time this way suck or kill you? :-D

Intimidate a French man by moving him back to his original postion on the stairs while I pose dramatically. /ref

Lol probably freeze to death. Photons stop moving, molecules stop vibrating. Electronic devices probably don't function/respond. So I could sleep (forever), no video games/tv/movies. Time travel trips me up; like I could walk around, but would time stopping fuck with the cohesion of matter/reality etc? Think you need a few more preconditions for this poll.

Do a little bit of stress testing then go to bed

Look at the movie cashback

Hit refresh and reset buttons and wonder why my devices don't work. Honestly no idea what I'd do once I figure out what's going on - any socially/legally unacceptable behavior would be a huge risk because I'd have no way of knowing how long the timestop lasts.

TBH I'd probably just try to wait it out, maybe take a walk outside and take a look around.

One could arrange a lot of pranks with a time freeze...

Go find an Aztec god. Someone is bound to be in charge of this mess.

Shit myself but that's my answer for most things

Suffocate probably

Panic

Apparently, set all of reality on fire simply by existing in a state of singular hyper-agitation.

Thanks, universe. 🖕🏻