this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 46 minutes ago

Phew, at least the SpaceX branded ketamine got through.

[–] Jojowski@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Wow! I wonder what will happen to those 178kgs of cocaine they found!

[–] ne0phyte@feddit.org 6 points 54 minutes ago (1 children)

It wouldn't even surprise me if some of the 150kg of cocaine went missing.

[–] frittoBee@lemmy.world 3 points 43 minutes ago (1 children)

Someone really ought to take care of the 120 kg of cocaine.

[–] espentan@lemmy.world 0 points 36 minutes ago

80 kilos of cocaine is quite a lot, it really should be disposed of safely.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 4 points 2 hours ago

The Reverend Horton Heat prophesise!

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 57 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Well there goes Elon's Doordash. Definitely not getting that $10 tip now.

[–] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world 42 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

This is ridiculous.

Elon never tips.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago

Not entirely true, he'll tip if you carry his baby to term. Sometimes he'll even tip in horses.

[–] hogmomma@lemmy.world 26 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ileftreddit@piefed.social 126 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I remember when a business jet packed to the gills with cocaine crashed and when they investigated, it turned out to be owned by a CIA shell company and previously used to shuttle people to Guantanamo for torture after an extraordinary rendition

https://asnc.flightsafety.org/wikibase/321868

Oh my god still? Cocaine isn't cool anymore. Fent is more profitable to move. What the hell? Was The Deserter right?

[–] rc__buggy@sh.itjust.works 49 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I thought no fucking way they found over 7000lb of cocaine on a little business jet but yeah, that Gulfstream could probably barely take off with that much on board. That's one badass airframe.

[–] BillBurBaggins@lemmy.world 14 points 7 hours ago

Maximum payload is 1.5t but the fuel payload is 12t so 3t of cocaine barely scratches it

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 hours ago

Hi aplane, I'm dad.

[–] solidgrue@lemmy.world 158 points 11 hours ago (5 children)

Federal police are still investigating whether the aircraft was involved in drug trafficking

Um....

Just Teddy still funding those wars in South America.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 64 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

Maybe it was just for personal use

[–] zbyte64@awful.systems 16 points 8 hours ago
  • Kash Patel on Epstein trafficking girls
[–] Kraiden@piefed.social 29 points 9 hours ago

Musk's personal stash

[–] Aeao@lemmy.world 12 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Looks like a whole weeks supply. He’ll be devastated

[–] Sonor@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

those tweets are not going to hit the same spot without this

[–] Aatube@kbin.melroy.org 80 points 11 hours ago

finally an article that's oniony beyond the headline

[–] Zier@fedia.io 12 points 9 hours ago

It was headed to a Coca-Cola factory. They are adding it back along with real cane sugar.

[–] robocall@lemmy.world 5 points 9 hours ago

It was medicinal cocaine!

[–] Envy@fedia.io 14 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

Musk ain't getting shit done anytime soon

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 5 points 2 hours ago

Let's hope so!

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 2 hours ago

Musk

he needs cocaine to counteract the effects of his ketamine binges.

[–] GenosseFlosse@feddit.org 3 points 3 hours ago

He will be even worse when he is coming down!

[–] betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 47 points 10 hours ago

Guess Elon's weekly shipment will be late. Probably scrambling to replace it off the streets like some kind of nose-mounted vacuum cleaner.

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 6 points 7 hours ago

How much of the product was in the pilot's system?

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 28 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

That’s this cursed timeline’s equivalent of Mitsubishi MDMA pills

[–] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 9 points 9 hours ago

Fuck yeah my guy! You brought back memories...

[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 35 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

I wonder if it's a joke label or not

[–] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 47 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (4 children)

Some drug traffickers use existing brands to "market" themselves.

Here's some Afghan heroin seized and destroyed by the international coalition on the Arabian Sea in 2021:

[–] floquant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 31 minutes ago

I was about to say, who would ever brand their cocaine, whether it was actually SpaceX or some random cartel? I would get the "brand identification" argument at the end user stage, but marking your bulk shipment of drugs just seems dumb.

[–] dumbass@aussie.zone 8 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

Any other company and I'd probably go yeah, the dealers did that, but I wholeheartedly believe Tesla has a cocaine manufacturing department.

[–] Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 hours ago

This one being fake doesn't prevent a real one from existing.

[–] 69420@lemmy.world 6 points 6 hours ago

I only get that Johnny Chimpo branded stuff. It's Afghanistanimation!

[–] n3m37h@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 hours ago

Id ride in a bently, I wouldnt ride in a spacex or tesler

[–] circuscritic@lemmy.ca 14 points 8 hours ago

It's real. I used to buy Nike brand ecstasy all the time.

If you have a Nike store in your town, I recommend you go in and ask for the triple stacks.