Biscuits come from a can
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2025
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Exactly what I opened the comments to post!
I could have sworn there was a mod for one of the GTA games that replaces the model/skin of the grenades with can of biscuit dough. You'd throw it, it'd roll and do nothing for a sec, then there would be no actual explosion, but that muffled splat sound the cans make and some dough would squeeze out from the seams.
...but the everything else responded normally as they would to a grenade; so a can of biscuit dough popping would still send people ragdolling away from it, cause cars to explode, etc.
Maybe it was just a parody gif someone made and not an actual mod? I can't find it. Q_Q
If that does actually exist, it needs to be such that when a dough-nade goes off, every affected human or npc needs to emit one of the giggling sounds from the pillsbourghy (sp?) doughboy being poked, from the commericals.
Just like uh, replace the human pain cries and screams for like 5 to 10 seconds, with an array of soundclips of the doughboy giggling.
The initial pain cry from the blast, any subsequent pain cries from ragdolling over shit, for 5 to 10 seconds.
That's the same way you open a bisexualg
I love it when weird usa products are in memes, I get to play detective in the comments to figure out what it is and why it's funny.
Bro same. Wtf is that
A roll of biscuits and the can is pressurized. The instructions say to peel the label then jam a spoon or something into the middle seam to make it pop open. It is quite a little bang.
Yeah but a roll of biscuits where I'm from is a packet of hobnobs, which are already cooked when you buy them and would probably be called something like 'a stack of cookies' in your country.
So in the usa a roll of biscuits is the name for the raw dough in a cardboard cannister, that you portion and bake yourself, right?
And usa biscuits are kinda similar to english scones.
So is the packaging pressurised because the dough is yeasted/leavened? Or because of being packaged with a non oxygen gas as a preservative? I know you guys really like long shelf lives with your processed foods.
Would nitrogen be used? Or is carbonated dough a thing? And would that even work as a preservative or a leavening agent? Nah, thinking about it force carbonation in dough would be likely be bitter and have a really rank texture once baked.
Ok, so it's probably nitrogen or maybe bicarb? Would bicarb remain stable and unreacted in the dough for a full shelf life, and still work?
And I think usa biscuits are unlikely to be a yeasted, I remember usa folk on baking subreddits talking about only ever using yeast for bread and how they found it very weird and 'not normal' that yeast in cakes/non-bread baked goods is a thing in other places.
.
.
(No spoilers please, the fun bit of all this is in the figuring it out!)
If I can’t provide spoilers, I’m going to need regular updates on your progress.
No spoilers, but you're close!
Here in the UK you can get some home-bake pastry tubes that look identical to that and you also twist open them. Things like a roll of proto-pan au chocolat or the big raw cinnamon roll. You just slice them up and cook
Huh, fair enough. I did not know that.
I've been doing my shops online with the vegan filters on since the pandemic, so I really have no idea what else is being sold in our supermarkets now. Hoping they make a vegan version of that chocolate croissant one soon tho.
The best defense is an aggressive offense. Before you even mess with the peel, WHOMP! them several times (as needed) against the edge of the counter, or better yet a corner, which is more likely to break through the wrap and bust them open. They can't startle you if you startle them.
I don't make these anymore, and when we did, had to ask someone with better nerves to open them. But I had a friend who had a great story about the canned biscuits. She went shopping and was waiting in the car, for her husband to finish shopping at a different store. Got sleepy, leaned her seat way back and went to sleep. Windows down, and it's hot here. She wakes to a loud pop, thinks it's a gunshot - feels her head, it's all gooey, she thinks she has been shot and is in so much shock she has no pain. It was the biscuits. They exploded and got in her hair.
That’s an episode of mythbusters!
It was not that lady, it's happened more than once? That is crazy. Same lady had a cat that could open the door by swinging on the doorknob, and a terraced yard that bluejays controlled the upper levels of and terrorized said cat, AND an ex who was a source of many awful but interesting stories as well.
This also happened in a book of urban legends I had as a kid.
My trick is to shout HIYA really loud when I open it. I did learn to warn people I am going to do this first, so they don’t drop a cheese plate and then chase you with a broom.
Isn't that how you're supposed to do it?
how I open them:
BANG 💥 BANG 💥 BANG 💥 POP!!!
I'm going to share with you the only way to open canned biscuits that's full proof.
Pull off some of the outer paper. Just a bit.
Next place the canned biscuits in a bowl or tray of some kind.
Next. Poor a little water on the canned biscuits.
The water will eventually seep in enough and the cardboard will break up and POP!
But it won't happen immediately.
So you can leave the room and wait for the pop at a safe distance.
You are all welcome.
Full proof?
Biscuits drenched in alcohol.
Full proof way to not be near the detonation. For added protection, place the tray or bowl in a cabinet or in a closet.
Bone apple tea.
I think you mean *fool proof.
;)
This can be avoided by making scratch biscuits lol
Every Sunday morning the kitchen became The Hurt Locker.