sharks nailed it on the first try π¦β¨
this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Somehow they've resisted becoming crabs
Crustaceans keep turning crab shaped.
Mammals keep turning weasel shaped. Mustelification (a term I made up) is the tendency for a fuckton of unrelated mammals to have long thin bodies with stout, powerful legs.
There's no such thing as a "fish". There's loads of animals in the ocean that are utterly unrelated, but both have scales and fins because fish is a useful shape in the ocean.
There are several major classes of "fish". Sharks belong to the cartilaginous class (along with rays and skates). The other major classes are the lobe-fins and the ray-fins. The ray-fin class consists of most of the typical fishy fish that we are familiar with, like salmon, goldfish and tuna. The lobe-fins consist of lungfish and ALL TETRAPODS! That's right, you and I are technically lobe-finned fish.
Also, tuna are more closely related to humans than they are to sharks.
Dolphins are lobe-finned fish.
Just thinking about that longass evolutionary journey they took to end up right back to looking like a shark is exhausting!
This is extremely fucked up and I hate it too
I think it's really fucking cool tbh
I don't care about Polaris, but trees? Fuck!
The trees speak Vietnamese 
Tree law, but it's a People's tribunal against imperialist swine
God I fucking hate that why that's so cursed stars should be eternal beings beyond comprehension
The dwarf stars fit the bill then. Red dwarfs last trillions of years and white dwarfs take a quadrillion years to cool. And then perhaps in an almost unfathomably long time (idk how to spell out the numbers lmao) they will turn into spheres of iron due to quantum tunneling.
I'm taking all my astronomy courses next semester and can't wait to learn about all the stars frfr. Brown dwarfs are my jam, just like me fr
I have a choice of electrocution or a shark, you know what I'm gonna take? Electrocution, I will take electrocution every single time, do we agree? I will take electrocution. But these people are crazy
sharks are probably the most interesting creatures on this planet tbh
Death to America
and yet the coolest ones (great white, whale, etc) can't stop swimming or they die, fuck em bring back the cameroceras
I can do one better: dinosaurs are older than the rings of Saturn. The rings of Saturn are only around 100 million years old.
Plot twist, the reason Saturn has the ring is the same reason we no longer have dinosaurs.
Embrace Wheeler-Posadism
There should be more cosmic horror about sharks and crocodilians and other very old lifeforms. Cephalopods have been hogging the ~~spotlight~~ starlight.
I've never looked at a shark, snake etc and been full of wonder at what deep thoughts must be filling their life. What you see, is what you get.
Octopus on the other hand, everything about them is distinctly, completely alien. Sometimes when I see them in the wild my brain refuses to register them as an animal. Yet they clearly possess a discrete consciousness.
Trilobites were emissaries of an ancient alien species that died out as they were waiting for intelligence to evolve in either avians or mammals.
that's fucked up yeah
How ate sharks older then mfing stars?
I mean a star formed just now
F yeah! Iβm older than a star. Suck it eternal heavens. Here comes old man demonquark.
Stars are still forming. Most are old, but there are some that are relatively "new"
Very cool to look at the night sky and realize almost none of that shit still exists anymore, the photons holding the sole remaining memory of that entire galaxy just traveled for nearly the entire age of the universe just to bounce off your retina, what was once their home is now forever cold, dark, empty and silent. Which it will remain, until the inevitable heat death of the universe trillions of trillions of trillions of years from now.
I don't have existential horror from realizing the underlying plot of dark souls/ elden ring of destroying everything by restarting the cosmic fire to avoid endless eternity in growing darkness was literally just basic astrophysics, wtf are you talking about bro
Thatβs a cool fact actually
But are they older than the average senior american politician?
Moloch was here before, and will be here long after the sharks. His hunger is ageless; his hatred timeless.