Ask

There are 7 alien spaceships orbiting earth right now the size of Jupiter, but they are invisible. They are not revealing themselves to us yet because we are not ready. But they are mind controlling the world leaders to prevent us from killing each other in a nuclear war. They helped trump win so as to save us all. There are also millions of people living underground in a whole separate society. Hilary Clinton is a lizard person, etc.

Then after he told me all this he said seriously with a straight face. “I will never tell you anything that I don’t know to be true 100%”

Briefly being around someone with the covid vaccine can mess up your periods and cause early menopause.

I'll stop faster because I'm towing a trailer.

My idiot FIL, a chronic tailgater, the last ever time I opted to be a passenger.

The first ones I could think out of The top of my head:

• Wind turbines are being powered by Diesel Generators
• In The Middle Age people were like 4m tall, which is the reason why the entrance gates of castles are so big.

There are probably way more, that I forgot (my parents are quite deep into conspiracy theories and so is their entire social circle).

A roommate once told me that cows "have one hole for babies and pooping", i.e., a cloaca, but he didn't know that word. I told him that isn't true, they are typical mammals so they have the full complement of parts.

I was sitting at my computer so I pulled up a diagram which he said was wrong. Then he asked to show me and started searching for things like, "cow hole", "cow butthole and birth canal", and "cows with just one hole" before I regained my senses and told him to go away.

The worst part though was the next day when my girlfriend was using my computer and saw the searches so I had to explain to her the conversation and he came back in to defend himself and tried to look up cow smut AGAIN.

Flat Earth Theory.

It wasn't my first time hearing about it, but it was my first time meeting someone in person who genuinely believed in it. My coworker and I got a 30 minute lecture on why he was right, presented wholeheartedly.

My biology teacher in 7th grade during sex-ed:

The anus is a one way road

Fuck her homophobic ass.*

*Not literally. Something tells me she's not into that.

In high school they taught us that Shakespeare's plays weren't written down, that they were re-constructed by audience goers who remembered the lines and wrote them down.

Absolute bullshit.

That green grapes were grapes that weren’t ripe. Couldn’t believe my ears and had to point out that green/white grapes make white wine and red grapes make red wine, there’s no such thing as red grapes that are green because they’re not ripe.

People from Sweden are short, his reasoning was the size of IKEA furniture.

That Jesus had 20kg stones he'd send Earth in the Doomsday. And that would be the day I'd regret not listening to the person saying it.

...mostly because I asked her why should I take the Bible more seriously than the Gîta, the Quran, or the Poetic Edda.

~25y later I'm still waiting those 20kg stones.

I had an economics teacher in high school who warned us that we’re better off at the higher end of a lower tax bracket than the lower end of a higher one, because a higher bracket being a higher percentage of taxation meant you’d lose so much more money that you’d be holding less in the end until you pass the threshold within that bracket where you get back ahead of the tax. An economics teacher.

Flat Earth - she even had the nerve to call me stupid for not seeing the obvious truth of it.

I had a health teacher explain hypertension is when your muscles get all stiff and that's why you need to stretch to loosen up.

Innumerable, but I think "there's no gravity in space" is kinda high up there

That French people don't say "oui".

Animals don't suffer like we do.

A mother of three afraid to get prostate cancer, like her own dad.

• The Anunnaki were ancient astronauts who visit Earth periodically, like every 10 000 years or something like that, I don't remember the exact frequency, but they are supposed to visit us again some time in the future, when it's their time for a new visit. They are so handsome that we can't resist mating with them and the current human race is a cross between the Anunnaki and the humans of the last time they visited us.
• If you travel far enough north, you will find a hidden civilization living under the ice at the North Pole that they don't want us to know about.