Mental Health

It is not helpful to think in terms of insane, but I get that this is language your family uses. More useful is thinking in what way you're coping or suffering. How you manage to go through your day. Only you can judge that. Daydreaming is a wonderful expression of imagination until it becomes so excessive that it is destructive to your life. The other poster suggested to look into schizoid pd: while this is useful to know about, the takeaway should be that one would favour daydreaming above anything else. Sacrifice all social relationships to spend time internally. This isn't about imagination or creativity anymore but a way to safeguard oneself from the outside, from other people to step too close or challenges encountered in life, etc. From your description i doubt that this fits, but again only you know yourself well enough to judge that. When talking about dissociation / derealisition / depersonalisation, there's usually a component of trauma to it. One mightn't be aware of what it is (whatever brought it about might seem normal), or one might suffer in other ways whereas one's peers just seem not to (common experiences with neurodivergent folks who are not aware of it). All this just to say to learn about yourself is essential, to foster self awareness and all that, which is challenging when you're young and have no access to therapy. In lieu of that you could confide a good friend or someone i your family who you trust.

From what you say, it seems you spend most of your day at home with a family that does not support you but often attacks you. Be it true or your point of view, being stuck in such an environment is not great for your mental health. Before jumping to diagnoses, it is worth considering if what you experience is a reaction to your environment. To do this, I would encourage you to find sources of comfort:

• physical activities that make you feel fulfilled (knitting? Clay sculpture? Baking? Coding? Anything, really)

• social activities that allow you to connect with others (volunteering? Animal shelters? Old people home? A course of some type? Church related activities?)

I also want to point out: social interaction is something we learn how to do. That’s why kids are odd and teenagers are weird: they are still mastering the social skills necessary for a “normal” interaction. If you are not exposed to any social interactions other than the confrontational ones with your family, you will not refine your social skills, and social settings will remain stressful. It’s normal to be a bit weird :)

About finding social activities, think about something that is positively viewed in your society (that’s why I proposed a lot of volunteering) such that your parents will have a harder time stopping you from going. Think about what your parents are more likely to support. It doesn’t matter where you start, the important is starting!

I understand your doubts about online connections, but remember that in person there are snakes too, don’t open up too quickly. You are particularly vulnerable, so be a bit guarded at the beginning and don’t share critical information about yourself.

I've been there, it's hell. The hormonal swings do get easier in your twenties, but mean people will keep on sucking. I don't know enough about the mental health system in your country to give any specific advice about what is worth pursuing. I know you need people though - kind people in your life who you can talk to (not online). Romance, trustworthy friends, and genuine joy might be the only things you need to thrive. You might also need mental health support if the daydreams, or the interpersonal difficulties you mentioned, aren't manageable. Almost everyone daydreams sometimes, but it's not the best way to deal with stress if the source of the issues are still there when the daydream is over. Sometimes there's nothing wrong with someone other than the fact that they're surrounded by assholes, you know? Have you thought about volunteering at a library or something like that? People who do volunteer work are generally quite kind, it can be a good place to meet people.