That's why I have crust issues
this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2025
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That's not even a bread, lol
The concept of "uncrustables" is something so absurd. Surely thats a US invention right?
It's not as bad as all that, kinda. The soft-style breads you get in US supermarkets often have crusts that are very bitter to the highly sensitive bitter receptors children have, and which die off as you finish adolescence. It's the basis for the idea of foods being an "acquired taste" and why children are so often portrayed as hating vegetables, to the perplexity of adults. The adult palate shifts sensitivity away from sweet and bitter flavours to umami and saltiness, and no longer finds things like kale or coffee or beer or brussel sprouts (yes I know about the new species no they aren't less bitter) to be offensively flavoured. These things exist (intentionally or not) as a result of that largely culturally unknown shift and are an alright compromise for children particularly sensitive to their regional breads to have at least some portable calories in a sandwich format.
Looks like the studies back you up. Also explains why there is so much sugar in children's foods. It says in the article that it's because it helps you avoid poison, but aren't some poisons sweet?
In spite of these reductions, however, children’s intake of sugar remains higher than that recommended by health organizations worldwide. In contrast to sweet taste, children dislike and reject bitter taste, which protects them from ingesting poisons. Although variation in bitter taste receptor genes such as TAS2R38 accounts for people’s marked differences in perceptions of the same bitter-tasting compounds, basic research revealed that these genotype-phenotype relationships are modified with age, with children of the same genotype being more bitter sensitive than adults and the changeover occurring during mid adolescence.
In this article, we review findings from basic, experimental research in children that suggest the liking of sweet taste and the dislike of bitter taste are not solely a product of modern-day technology and advertising, but are reflective of children’s basic biology.
Some poisonous things are sweet, but a lot of natural poisons (and drugs) are bitter; alkaloids in general are bitter.
Glad I'm not forgetting things in my dotteringly old age!
The reasoning for why this is, as I remember it, is that most poisons found in flora are deterrents "designed" to dissuade mammals from consuming whichever part is poisonous, and are not outright deadly. That's why many fruits are perfectly edible even when the rest of the plant is toxic (yew berries, for example); it's beneficial for the plant to have it's seeds spread, but eating the stems / leaves / roots are all extremely harmful to the plant. Children, with their much lower body mass and tendency to stick everything into their mouths as a first reaction, are much more likely to be killed by a small amount of a poisonous plant and as a result need to be far more sensitive to trace amounts of a toxic substance in order to survive. Since sweet poisons tend to be manufactured rather than naturally occurring, they wouldn't have had an impact on the evolution of this trait.
(edit: Don't eat yew berries. While the seeds will usually pass through your digestion without releasing toxins, if you chew a seed accidentally you're gonna have a really unpleasant experience. They are, however, extremely delecious. Don't eat them though. Even though they're amazing. Don't do it. God, I can almost taste them right now. But you can't, because you've never tried them. Which is good. Eating yew berries is something you should not do.)
do they taste like anything so i can imagine it?
Instructions extremely unclear..
Died.
Shit this one doesn’t even work for that does it?
No but really don't do it, you'll shit and vomit yourself into a coma (literally) and that is just no fun for anyone. Almost worth it, god they're tasty. But not quite worth it. It's close, though.
Hm... Interesting. I'm in my thirties and those things haven't really changed for me. I still can't stand the taste of beer or coffee without a lot of additives, and the crust on breads is still very bitter to me. I actually brought up bread crust being bitter to some friends a while back because I was musing about why adults are just meant to suck it up and eat this despite the taste, and they had no idea what I was talking about.
Of course! And it's sugar gel inside cake.
I was curious and looked up the nutrition info - weirdly a lot healthier than I expected. No HFCS, the bread appears to be absolutely normal bread, the fillings are sugary but in small enough quantities to not be particularly egregious. Still not great for you in that bread is terrible for you and sugar enriched peanut butter is a moral sin, but really they're no worse than just making a sandwich from components.
How is bread terrible for you?
I think they mean American bread, which is just cake.
Maybe you mean white bread in America? We have good bread also. Plenty of rye breads and whole wheat, even if it's sliced, but we also have like actual bakeries where you get get all sorts of fresh bread.
I feel like there's a lot of mistaken assumptions that all the food in the US is garbage simply because some of the food in the US is garbage. You hear the same thing about beer. Like, yes, there are some terrible mass produced lagers and pilsners that taste absolutely disgusting, but we also have a thriving craft beer market with a huge variety of types and qualities of brews.
It's the same with American cheese. People think of Kraft Singles, yet they're literally not legally allowed to call that "cheese." And it's fucking gross.
We have some really good cheeses here.
To be fair, that's because it never was cheese to begin with: American (as in the type) "cheese" has always been a means of repurposing leftover cheese (and using supplementary ingredients like milk and milk protein and emulsifiers to bind things together). It legally can't be called cheese because it's always been a "cheese product", not cheese. That doesn't (inherently) mean it's any less real food, though (which I feel is what most people hear when they hear, "It can't legally be called cheese").
Also, (as a cheese lover) yes: it does taste like ass and is repulsive. Entirely agreed. One of the (many) benefits of living in the Midwest is being close to all the good cheese, though.
... Your cake must be incredibly depressing.
Sorry, I was being hyperbolic. Bread is fine if high in carbs, and sugary peanut butter is gross but not a mortal sin.
Meanwhile Lunchables still have lead in them.
Hey now don't be ungrateful, that lead is vital in protecting you against the cesium 137 contamination in your shrimps!
Side note: those things are tasty af. I bought some on a lark and damn. Hate being patient though.
Patient? Let me introduce you to the frozen uncrustable.
These are the parts with no filling, just bread. Uncrustables don’t solve that very important problem with “crust”.
They taste good lol Definitely bad for you though