this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2025
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[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 83 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Send more DOGE staffers into the streets alone at night with their propeller beanies and oversized lollipops.

[–] Kirp123@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Damn, I guess Big Balls wasn't enough.

[–] bacon_pdp@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well Big Balls being beat up was done by Trump to distract from the Epstein files

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

IDK how much trump can really be blamed for this one - that idiot is a contender for 'Most Punchable Face' and in his vast wisdom decided to just go out and wave that thing around because he lives in a world where there's no consequences for your actions.

However, your theory is far funnier.

[–] DrFistington@lemmy.world 45 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I mean, if he wants a higher murder rate, that can be arranged.

Right? I'll show up for some flag burning and effigies. Maybe we bring a guillotine and see where the night takes us.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

He wants ICE shot down, and they should be. But see where Big Balls taking a mere ass beating got us. Not an excuse to back down! Just sayin'.

[–] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 38 points 1 week ago (3 children)

what's he gonna do, sue the criminals for not doing enough crime?

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

a pragmatic system of legalized crime through guilds, with the Thieves Guild and Assassins' Guild handling their respective activities under the watchful eye of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch and the Patrician, Lord Vetinari.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Vetinari would be a massive improvement over Trump.

[–] msage@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

To be frank, even a dead badger would be.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 4 days ago

Dead Badger 2028

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 4 points 1 week ago

Let's call him Frank.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Combine with an armed citizenry, I'm all in.

Confiscate all weapons, and crime would go down. It made sense. It would have worked, too, if only there had been enough coppers -- say, three per citizen.

Amazingly, quite a few weapons were handed in. The flaw, though, was one that had somehow managed to escape Swing, and it was this: criminals don't obey the law. It's more or less a requirement for the job. They had no particular interest in making the streets safer for anyone except themselves. And they couldn't believe what was happening. It was like Hogswatch every day.

Some citizens took the not-unreasonable view that something had gone a bit askew if only naughty people were carrying arms. And they got arrested in large numbers.

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Claim things he doesn't like are criminal acts, like carpooling, or eating pizza with your hands.

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 7 points 1 week ago

Probably this, except it'll be trans people or anyone that votes Democrat.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Easy, enforce the porn ban via lethal force.

Also, everything is porn now.

[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm very critical of the orange buffoon but I have to hand it to him about his interest in crime. In fact just the other day I heard he is very interested in the crime of raping children...

[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Not just interested, historically invested. There's a very, very good chance this man has raped kids.

It's all in the Epstein Files that he won't release.

[–] Zirconium@lemmy.world 26 points 1 week ago

Investigation concludes that the streets of DC may need an influx of crack cocaine to reintroduce crime into the city

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 24 points 1 week ago

If you want higher crime pay the criminals better!

[–] oppy1984@lemdro.id 23 points 1 week ago

Interesting, the national guard is deployed throughout the city because of the high crime rate. I guess it's time to send them home and launch a congressional investigation while the media does round the clock coverage of "Guard Gate".

Who knows donny maybe it'll distract people from the Epstein files, it won't, but maybe it will, either way donny boy you never know until you try!

[–] ignirtoq@fedia.io 21 points 1 week ago

Good discussion of the rationalization of a fascist play. Only one criticism:

But this investigation will become part of the pattern and practice of this administration filled with aspiring fascists.

They're not aspiring. They've sent in the military to take over a city from civilian control under a completely fabricated pretext with an underlying entirely political true purpose. That's not aspiring fascism, that is fascism.

[–] falynns@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

Cops will even lie about how good and bad they are, depending on who's asking. Let's keep this investigation going, maybe we'll find out who was part of that big child trafficking and rape super-group Trump was always hanging around with. Because he's a pedophile who rapes adults and children.

[–] Nastybutler@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Back the Blue! But not the blue Blue. Just the red Blue.

[–] TommySoda@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

It would help if you actually went to the areas that have high crime and not just where the cameras can see them. If this was about crime it's not like you don't have the data to go find it.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Interesting that only Democratic leaders are capable of fudging their crime statistics. If we’re going to investigate DC, why not also investigate Dallas?

I bet whatever investigation they do will come up with a lot of cops that will be fired to showing an appropriate amount of restraint.

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Next time there's a race crime in some backwater county, we need to send the national guard in to patrol the county in response to the high crime rate there.