this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2025
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Belinda Carlisle officially retracts 1987 claim that heaven is a place on Earth (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 7 months ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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Singer/songwriter Belinda Carlisle officially retracted the eponymous claim of her 1987 hit “Heaven Is a Place on Earth” due to the myriad of current events that show the horrors of the world, sources report.

“I was young and naive when I wrote that song almost four decades ago,” Carlisle admitted. “Now that I’ve grown older and wiser, I of course have come to the conclusion that humanity has turned this planet into a completely irredeemable shithole. I mean, how could I not? Just this morning I walked past a man masturbating on the subway shortly after watching members of ICE tackle an 80-year-old woman as she was trying to enter a church, then I got home and saw a news report about how the world was on the brink of an irreversible climate disaster. How fucking stupid would I have to be to think heaven exists on this worthless rock?” [...]

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[–] Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone 22 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Based on the fucking temperature it’s been here the past week, I’d say hell is also a place on earth.

[–] lethalspatula@lemmy.world 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I almost ate the onion for a second there

[–] ThatGuy46475@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

She wouldn’t be the first singer to do something like that.

[–] marine_mustang@sh.itjust.works 6 points 7 months ago

And now it’s stuck in my head.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago (2 children)

There's a good chance younger generations have no goddamn idea who this woman is, and if that's you, I sincerely recommend you fix that.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 2 points 7 months ago

Start with the Go-Gos. Right now. We've Got the Beat, Vacation, whatever. Work from there. Also throw some Bangles for good measure.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 2 points 7 months ago

So glad it was The Onion. Whew.

Not that I was a fan of the song that much when it was popular (mainly because it was overplayed on the radio, as typically done), but totally became a fan after it was used at the end of a certain Black Mirror, one of my favorites.