Actually, this is the better timeline. We were shifted into the really bad timeline after the cascade failure occurred right after the first test.
The weasel actually saved billions of lives.
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2025
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So the weasel is why we live in the Biff timeline
That weasel’s name?
Harambe.
The way to return to the correct timeline is simple: Take the dicks out.
If we all do it at the same tim
…it’ll shift Earth’s orbit outward, counteracting global warming!
How long should I keep it for? It’s cold over here!
South Park is certainly helping, then
Also, in the parallel universe in which David Bowie and Prince didn’t die, they play at Hillary Clinton’s inauguration
Fuck Hillary and the DNC.
you couldn't have dreamed a little harder and said "Bernie Sanders"?She's the US equivalent of Keir Starmer
Who,?
Based off the name I'm going to assume it's an STD.
Unfortunately I have more belief in humans fucking shit up than I do in accidental weasel hadron colliding.
Also, this says it was in 2016. We were already super fucked by then. I'd be more inclined to believe that we live in a giant simulation that got fucked by the millennium bug.
Not that things were great in 2000, but the point is that 2016 is way too late. It's like looking at water that's just starting to boil, and then being surprised when it becomes a rolling boil.
Yeah but in 2000, I still felt like shit roughly made sense. We entered clown world long about the time the LHC fired its first high energy collisions.
The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) was first "fired high energy" when it achieved its first high-energy particle collisions on March 30, 2010. On that date, proton beams collided at a combined energy of 7 TeV, setting a new world record and officially beginning the LHC's research program.
I remember hearing that that was going to happen and, you know, being mildly concerned. Then it came and went and I forgot about it. But I distinctly remember 2012. A series of truly bizarre things happened in my personal life. I sold a condo I owned at the time and moved away to try and put some distance between myself and what was happening. It was pants-on-head stupid, like I just couldn't believe what was going on, but it was personal, not earth-shattering, just truly, deeply bizarre.
Shortly thereafter, Trump happened, then covid - and the whole world began being truly, deeply bizarre. Now things have progressed so far that where I used to think I knew a bit about how the world works and where it's going, I am now utterly adrift. I don't even try to make sense of it anymore, just to accept it and roll as best I can.
I'm not saying correlation is causation but when I first heard the LHC theory it made me stop and think.
Turning it on was the mistake. It was activated in 2015.
I read, “weasel hardon collision”.
I would rent that movie for at least once.
In this universe yes but in the weasels timeline weasel based time manipulation is quite common.
Though, for each of those possible timlines to have ever existed, they would have to be played out with humans that have a consciousness. Maybe, we're that consciousness.
This just got me thinking how cool it would be to have a game where you come across one of these in disrepair and have to reverse engineer your way to making it work. You’d have a massive complex and lots of nooks and crannies to hide puzzles in. Make it look old and abandoned with overgrowth and I’m even more sold.
Edit: There’s a hidden gem almost exactly like this called Infra. You’re a structural analyst sent in to survey large portions of abandoned infrastructure run by a corrupt governor. Your only job is to take pictures of damage and solve puzzles. Wildly my vibe.
Have u played Abiotic Factor? Cause that's kinda the vibe
This kills me because the concept looks great, but I’m never really into survival. Hate kill screens in immersive games.
Find a crew to play it with. The game is hella fun when you're standing in the back chucking briefcases at your pals.
It was the weasel that went into the collider. We've always been in the same timeline. It's the weasel that's now confused and very angry.
alternatively the weasel is now in a good timeline
"Wrong"? Define "wrong".
Its all kinds of weaselly, innit?
So really we only have Gordy to blame for not catching the weasel
I'm now a firm believer in this theory.
Better reason then what Terminator 3 did in that hallway.