I think of the things that might have helped form who I am sometimes...
Until I was about 6, all my daycare in the summers were provided by my grandparents, and my maternal grandmother signed me up for countless activities that were often quite intimidating to me... Being a 4-5 year old kid dropped off with kids that were often older, not knowing who any of these people are, etc.
I distinctly remember being signed up for a science class at the Nature Center where we lived, and going through an entire week of classes in their greenhouse... I actually remember feeling a lot of anxiety about it, and the whole time I didn't really make any friends. I believe I was the youngest, and, frankly, I think I struggled with attention.
For the climax, we did some nature walk at night to see the stars, and we went back to the greenhouse and I remember explaining things I learned to my grandmother as part of the task... Caterpillars, cocoons, something along these lines, and when it all concluded my grandmother complimented me about how much I learned, and the teacher said how well I had done, and she would go on to brag to my parents about me as well as my grandfather...
Part of me wonders if this was the groundwork for a lot of my social skills, courage, confidence, resilience...
Years later, my parents actually lived in that area. The Nature Center was closed. I hadn't actually ever lived there, so I was just there to party and drink with friends who would have to leave and come to my area...
Today I thought back to this for some reason, mostly just remembering my grandmother, and I thought about how everyone important to me in the story is dead - my grandmother, my grandfather, the caterpillars. I also wonder if I am the only person for whom those memories survive on earth, walking through the dark, looking up at the night sky in that context... Certainly the overwhelming majority of those other students are alive, and probably the bulk of the staff, but it is also the case none of them would remember this quite like me - and even those who were in similar enough situations would have their own series of relationships and realizations...
Now I live over five thousand miles away from where it all happened.. and a lot of members of that family have all passed on, and all the kids in my family who would know what I was talking about back then have grown up and either have kids or a complicated backstory as to why they don't...
I guess I share this because it makes me respect the gravity of life and change.