this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2023
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Memes

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 204 points 2 years ago (2 children)

For non-Americans, Fort Wayne is very, very far from the ocean. Like a long distance, then over a huge mountain range and then another long distance.

[–] seliaste@lemmy.blahaj.zone 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)

If it is a package from China it wouldnt change anything right?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 78 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I would think that no matter where it's coming from, falling into the ocean in Fort Wayne would be a neat trick.

[–] Nindelofocho@lemmy.world 54 points 2 years ago (1 children)

clipped through the terrain and fell to the bottom of the map where the global water level is set at

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Thats what happens when you cheap out on map designers and have one old guy do everything that grew up in a time before computers were a thing even. Oh and of course he is also the only guy programming and maintaining the engine, has to do all the character conception and management demands some immersive sandbox experience with particle physics down to quantum level.

No wonder the updates just get shittier and shittier.

[–] oatscoop@midwest.social 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Nah, they didn't grow up before computers: they were programing mainframes in the 60s. Those programmers can write you an absolute masterpiece of software ... in COBOL. Also, they don't bother with documentation because they're intimately familiar with every line of code considering they created the whole system from scratch 40 years ago.

The point at when you're "screwed" is when they retire and some poor bastard inherits an inscrutably complex system, written in a 60 year old language no one uses anymore, and with zero documentation.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But does Fort Wayne just mean it’s the next checkpoint on the way to the destination?

So could easily be some port on the west coast where the container fell off a ship?

[–] mindrover@lemm.ee 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Most likely but it's funnier if you don't think about that.

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 12 points 2 years ago

Trebuchet. Really powerful trebuchet

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Maybe they’re testing out hypersonic mail planes. You lose a box somewhere over Fort Wayne and you’re just goin so goddamn fast it doesn’t land till it hits the gulf

[–] figurys@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Maybe someone can do the math how fast you would have to be going?

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[–] grue@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

What mountains? There aren't any mountains between Fort Wayne and Mobile, AL. (Or between it and Fort Albany, ON, for that matter)

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Congratulations, you got me. The Appalachians don't go all the way across the entire North American continent. I apologize for daring to make such a suggestion.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (3 children)

To be fair, I initially wanted to comment about how clever you were because even most Americans would forget about the Ozarks being in the way, but then I checked a map and realized they were too far west.

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[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 88 points 2 years ago (1 children)

At least you got an answer to how your parcel was lost.

Better the a generic lost on transit email.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 41 points 2 years ago

2019–2023, 100% WFH until recently. Once or twice a week, notified a package couldn't be delivered because no one was home.

Became mates with the local postman because I was always home for domestic deliveries and just taught the house to "suffere" the extra day for postage instead of +$3 for faster international shipping since it was going to be guaranteed and ultimately faster. PLUS it gave out local post man a chance to chat with me and give the dog pats and a treat.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 62 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Did they at least take a photo of the package having been successfully delivered into the ocean?

[–] Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

It’s in a fiberglass submarine.

[–] TheRaven@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago

Maybe with one ship worker screaming out “WILSOOON!!!”

[–] Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml 40 points 2 years ago

It still says its in transit so I guess it'll bob back up again any day now.

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Ah yes... the famous Indiana Ocean.

[–] RogueAozame@programming.dev 6 points 2 years ago

I'm an idiot I read that as Indian ocean and thought somebody didn't know it exists. No I just can't read apparently.

[–] droans@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

It's a long trip from the Maumee to the Erie to the Hudson to the ocean.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 33 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What a weird place for it to fall into the ocean.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well at least better then a fire at a sea parks.

[–] Rukmer@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I mean, if she has said that her parent are drowned, I'd be the happiest man in the world. But, a fire?

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[–] Zimmy@lemm.ee 32 points 2 years ago

In the seaside town of Fort Wayne, IN 🤔

[–] Besen@feddit.de 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] ace_garp@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)
[–] redw04@lemmy.ca 28 points 2 years ago

Maritime salvage rules apply, get a boat and go reclaim not only your package but everyone else's!

[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

that shit happened to us on naval ships a few times while underway, but they recovered the mail. people were smoking dunked cigarettes lol

[–] jcg@halubilo.social 5 points 2 years ago

I'm sure naval officers are no strangers to wet cigarettes

[–] Lawyerator@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Getting an Oregon Trail vibe from that message.

[–] LordOfTheChia@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago

Package was being delivered by GOB Bluth.

"Return from whence you came!"

[–] Luisp@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 years ago

Killer whale anti boat conspiracy in action

[–] Vitaly@feddit.uk 8 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nah, Amazon just disables tracking altogether as soon as it's running late.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

People might think you're joking, but they literally just did that to me last month.

[–] neshura@bookwormstory.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Had a unicorn moment a while back. Ordered an SSD and for whatever reason the seller didn't use detailed tracking but only the basic "has been delivered" one. Amazon status turns from "Expected today" to "running late", thing is: the package was there (letter sized, hence no accurate tracking info... on a 100€ package) tracking status did NOT update so I just got the money refunded, while still getting the ssd. I was tempted to try my luck again but ultimately decided not to.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Welp, that'll teach the seller not to use the cheap shipping.

[–] SnipingNinja@slrpnk.net 14 points 2 years ago

That's a river, not Ocean

[–] sim642@lemm.ee 7 points 2 years ago

Did they jump after it to scan the barcode for a tracking update or what?

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

gonna be a wet package

[–] codblopsii@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago
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