It makes me bifurious
this post was submitted on 18 Aug 2025
743 points (98.3% liked)
Greentext
6982 readers
1878 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I think the difference is the perceived energy barrier if one wanted to fool around on their partner if they a bi vs het.
A bi guy could, hypothetically, find a guy on grindr pretty much on a whim if he wanted to. This is a much lower barrier than straight guys face unless they seek a sex worker. If you are a woman in the early stages of dating someone, where you don't know yet how much you can trust a guy, if a guy tells you he is bi that can come off as a higher cheating risk than a straight guy.
Straight guys dating a bi-girl don't have a similar perceived risk increase. Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as 'cheating', vs a bonus for his enjoyment. But also - finding a new girl to date is considered harder than finding an interested guy. So the 'cheating' risk doesn't feel that much higher for guys dating a bi-girl compared to a straight girl; he may feel like he is still mostly competing against other guys.
Is this fair or even realistic? No, this is based on perceived stereotypes rather than the behaviors and character of individuals.
But this plays out at a stage of dating where people don't know each other well yet and are relying on heuristics.
Early in the relationship, guys may not even see the potential of a bi-girl hooking up with a girl as ‘cheating’, vs a bonus for his enjoyment.
Oh boy is that a land-mine I've stepped on.
A real, "wait I don't understand what do you mean you're in love with her?" moment that rang my bell back in my 20s. And then they ran off and got married. Which... hey, at some point how can you even be mad? They were clearly very happy together. Still sort of sucks to find out your axle was actually a third wheel.
So they prefer to be with someone who would cheat at the first occasion but the occasion is hard to find than with someone who has no problem to find an occasion but decides not to?
I'd rather be disappointed early than wasting years on a scumbag
To be fair, this kind of kinetics-as-pevention works.
I use this strategy to prevent eating too many snacks -- I do not keep them at home. I can't have them if they are not here. If 90% of the time I would "choose" not to have chips, not-having-them stops me the other 10%
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(4 replies)
When I was fairly younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who told me that if she were to learn that I had sex with a man, especially bottoming but also topping (she didn't use those terms, she used bad terms), then she would feel disgusted and betrayed and would never feel attracted to me again or see me as a man again.
I said to her that I was disappointed in her, that she had internalised homophobia and that she was a massive hypocrite. Her self proclaimed best male friend presented to the world as flamingly gay, and she was openly bi herself, not as in "I would totally fuck women cause I like the idea of it", bus as in she had fucked women before and would do it again. Apparently she deserves to be fucked by a real man, which apparently bi men are not.
So...yeah, you can be a loudly proclaimed ally AND a member of the LGBTQ community yourself, and still be a disgusting homophobe right alongside the best of bigots.
I have a similar story to share.
When I was in my early 20s I briefly dated a girl who told me she was having feelings for another woman and was being curious, she eventually broke up with me in order to be with her, but we remained good friends after that.
Eventually she came out as a lesbian and when I told her that I was bi she immediately ended our friendship all even yelled some slurs at me.
AFAIK she's married with a guy and has kids now
load more comments
(9 replies)
load more comments
(13 replies)
Initial reaction: there's no way that's real
After reading the comments: what the fuck
Very strange you haven't absorbed this concept yet. "Bi women are straight but bi men are gay" is one of the most common tropes in the larger culture's conception of sexual identity.
I don't mean to brag, but I have an astonishing lack of culture.
bisexual women are hot
bisexual men are gross.
that's the underlying assumption.
homosexuality is considered positive/attractive among women, and normalized. a woman doesn't become less woman for being with a woman.
however, works the opposite for a guy. homosexuality makes a man less manly, or something.
load more comments
(1 replies)
My current girlfriend is cool with it, but she's absolutely fantastic about pretty much everything.
One of my exs on the other hand was a bit more aggressive and weird about it. She had a lot of toxic masculinity beliefs going on.
The real issue I have is that a lot of them think its hot, along with some of the other things I may have been into at one point. It's a bit of a struggle to explain that I'm not asking for more, I'm just being transparent to avoid a potential bombshell being dropped in the future. I don't have the energy for a polycule, to bother with a third, or anything in the lifestyle anymore.
Ive said it once, Ive said it a thousand times. No one pushes toxic masculinity like women do.
If everyone just embraced being queer, everything would be ok. Sex and relationships can barely survive identity politics, old school or new.
Just shows how deeply ingrained power relations are in society with an unproportional low complementing awareness and reflection about it.