I'm just gonna straddle it reverse cowgirl style
this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2025
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Guys, guys! Take it from an American: Don't be like us. This is some shit our employers would do.
I know our lifestyle looked fun and enviable once we grew up and left the kingdom to live on our own. And it's not all bad, but mistakes were made!
I have an idea: I go to a forest, I don't care who's claiming it, and throw wooden spears at anyone who enters.
Wouldn’t a couple of small blocks under the seat just fix this “problem”.
I mean I’m surprised they just don’t put those homeless spikes on the seat.
I'd just start going to a restroom elsewhere with normal seats and take even longer breaks just to send them a message
Weeeeeeellll
I wouldn't mind going to the bathroom and not finding all stalls occupied for the next 45 minutes because everyone and their mother is taking a shit whilst watching all three Lord of the rings movies on one go
Edit: seriously? This is being down voted? I'm all for fuck corporate and such, but seriously, I want to be able to go to a bathroom and actually find an unused stall. It sucks that everything is occupied with people watching TV there.
Don't hunch over? Stretch out! Legs and all! The easier angle will make it even better support.
bring a book and shove it under the lid to make it level, fuck em. i shit till my legs go numb.
you gotta really question the mental wellness of someone who starts a company to produce a product that literally makes life worse for anyone that experiences it.
I mean, I don't take longer than a couple minutes to take a shit, but it does make it worse for those with health issues or trying to get a break with no other options
Shit on the floor
Everybody walk the Dinosaur?
Take enough toilet paper off the roll to wipe, use the rest of the roll to prop up the seat.
Upper decker coming right up.
If I'm suffering from the green apple splatter, my legs will not give a shit about 13 degree angle.
I see a claas action law suit from arthritic workers
Hus has Crohn's. That's covered by the ADA for now. Anyone with an IBD should join that lawsuit.
Do this in protest:
I'm not a toilet expert but I once heard of some person that did this and they broke the ceramic and kind of cut their legs, so maybe don't.
I think this is an urban legend that never happened since I've never found any evidence of it happening, but definitely be careful and don't make a mess.
Edit: there is a relevant Wikipedia article somehow: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet-related_injuries_and_deaths
Edit 2: Maybe it happened once (NSFW): https://www.nairaland.com/2549481/graphic-pic-woman-got-serious
who even thinks about writing an article page on wikipedia about toilet related injuries and deaths
wikipedia editors
I think I first saw this a decade ago.
Edit: And in that decade, not even a single post about those toilets being installed anywhere. Not one peep.
I have a medical condition that makes it difficult for me to defecate, so doing so often takes 20m or more.
I usually doo on my own time (because, like, ethic or whatever), but even so, this seems actively hostile to me and I wonder if there's a legal remedy.
Just shit on the walls and the company will readjust again
Don't be an animal, just shit in the trash can in the bosses office, like a civilized person.
But seriously, this sounds like a good way to get rich. Once you "accidentally" slip off the toilet and crack your head open, then you can sue for the big bucks.
Gonna start selling 3d printed toilet wedges out my trunk that re-flatten the toilet seat.
Wedge door stop would probably work also
A door stop, commonly found in abundance in most office spaces, sounds like a great solution already
Or just bring a shitting stool to work. Label it a shitting stool. Talk to your coworkers about your new shitting stool. Tell them about the comforts of your elevated knees and how easily your stool slides out from your briefly exposed anus. Recommend shitting stools to management. Secretly sell shitting stools under the guise of girl scout cookies. Keep the best shitting stools for yourself. Give the squeakers to management. Let them understand the shame of an office fully aware of the state of their rectum. They replace the toilets to save face. People continue using your shitting stools because they enjoy feces expediently sliding out of their rectums. You’ve won
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Waiting for the lawsuits from people developing nerve damage and/or thrombosis
This should be posted in latestagecapitalism and aboringdystopia
Go to take a shit after a few hours in a non-climate controlled warehouse so your sweaty butt cheeks just slide off the toilet and break your coccyx. Now you get worker's comp.
I'd bring a wedge and keep it on my desk.
Next up, companies will force ~~employees~~ COLLABORATORS wear diapers during their shifts, no more bathroom breaks to anyone
Sit backwards on the toilet like AC Slater and your legs will feel better than usual
If you sit on it backwards, you won't have a shelf for your comic book and chocolate milk.
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