this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 10 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Envious men please remember vaginas do have an ending. Don't trust hentai, your penis will NOT came out of our mouths

[–] nova_ad_vitum@lemmy.ca 6 points 9 hours ago

Next you're going to tell me that piss doesn't come from the balls? Please.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

The cervix is just a door if you knock hard enough.

[–] BussyGyatt@feddit.org 8 points 15 hours ago

is there a way to block all posts with links to a specific site?

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago

Leave this behind at reddit, please.

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 1 points 11 hours ago

WTS Dubs has entered the chat.

[–] Wispy2891@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Unrelated but this newspaper says:

Join our WhatsApp! Our community members are treated to special offers, promotions and adverts from us and our partners

There's people that are actually saying "hell yes! Send me ads on WhatsApp, here's my phone number!" ???

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 20 hours ago

The world's full of 'em, and many others, yep.

[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 150 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

Matt said: “It was a very embarrassing accident. One of the issues with being so large, especially in hot water showers, is that it’s not exactly easy to see my feet.

“Especially when I move too fast, it can definitely mess with my balance, too. As I was rushing to get ready for work, I didn’t see the excess shower gel in the tub because my penis was the only thing in my eye line.

Right, because a fifteen-inch penis is totally going to obstruct your view of both feet and everything else below your waistline, and your dick is totally the reason you clumsily slipped. And you totally aren't looking for every possible excuse to turn any event of your life into another opportunity to brag about your massive, record-breaking schlong.

🙄

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

He just likes to brag & isn't evolved enough to have a detachable penis.

[–] ImADifferentBird@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 3 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Anyone can acquire an enormous penis & just have it on display somewhere to soothe your day.

[–] cjoll4@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What a blast from the past!

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

I don't even have to clock the link, and King Missile is now playing the hits in my head. 🤘🏼

edit: leaving it, as-is

[–] Heikki2@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (6 children)
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[–] celeste@kbin.earth 76 points 1 day ago (2 children)

this guy gets a burn cooking and he's like "must've been because of my enormous penis" trips on the stairs "dick got caught in the spindles it's so big" gets sleep apnea "my giant schlong wraps itself around my throat when I'm sleeping"

[–] Bunbury@feddit.nl 6 points 18 hours ago

I mean, to be fair… it must be pretty annoying. Chances are he’s not compatible size wise with 99.99% of women. Probably even jerking off is a massive workout. Probably gets lightheaded each time it fills with blood. Seriously… when you’re this far out of the normal range I recon attention is the main positive thing that comes out of the situation (at least for people who like attention). Everything else just seems needlessly difficult.

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[–] JackLSauce@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (14 children)

...independently measured at [37cm], and a cast of it has been included in a museum in Iceland.

I have questions for Iceland; mostly about how to pronounce ð but we'll get to that later

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Is that flacid or erect length?

Edit: its erect length. When flacid, it was 25cm long

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 5 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago)

The fucked up pronunciation in Icelandic comes from when you put to Ls together, e.g. Eyjafjallajökull. It makes an almost click sound. You can hear it on the wiki below.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyjafjallaj%C3%B6kull

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 19 hours ago

It's pronounced like the "th" in "weather."

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[–] TheEighthDoctor@lemmy.zip 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Imagine shitting in a public toilet with such dick, it's either out on the floor or in the toilet water.

[–] glnpf148@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago

You could hang it over your shoulder

[–] JamesNZ@lemmy.world 76 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Summary of the article. " By the way I have a massive cock, it is just huge, biggest in the world. Did I say about my massive unit? It is really big...oh I slipped in the shower and broke my arm,...but let's get back to the massive third leg I have going on. ,,"

[–] wetsoggybread@lemmy.world 9 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

"Oops, I dropped my magnum condom for my magnum dong"

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

FWIW, that brand was specifically designed and marketed for average dicks to feel bigger. It's their whole thing.

[–] Cethin@lemmy.zip 1 points 11 hours ago

It's a product within a brand, but it actually is larger. You can look up the dimensions if you want.

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 49 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Funny story, but the size of my penis is why my balls always get wet when I pee.

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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago (9 children)

Ok that is the most ridiculous explanation I have ever heard. Do you have to see your feet to know where they are? And how do large busted or pregnant women manage then?

Oof it must suck to be hung that big though. No balls deep in anyone, ever, and careful sex only.

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[–] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago
[–] AwesomeLowlander@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I was careless, didn't look where I stepped, it was totally because of my dick. Let me tell you more about it...

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 27 points 1 day ago

Seriously. Dude is acting like he can't see the floor because his dick is in the way. Be one thing if he had syncope due to blood flow. Just didn't look.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Wow poor guy is probably going to get a lot of sympathy cards. Must be awful.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can all but guarantee most women run away at the sight of it.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 20 hours ago

And the ones that don't, he's running from.

[–] baines@lemmy.cafe 24 points 1 day ago

are all the impressed comments in here from men lol

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