I've never understood this meme. Like what did you expect them to look like, and why is this apparently alarming?
this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
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I expected them to hang off a central stalk. Or perhaps grow like corn, where there's a more plant-looking plant growing with the asparagus inside it.
If you want them to remain white, you have to cover them in earth, the farmers make ridges of earth to cover them:
Why would you want them to remain white?
Because they are delicious that way!
Freshly cooked with egg, ham and butter sauce they are very good. It's called 'white gold'in the Netherlands.
because racism
White gold
The only way I've seen white asparagus is in glass jars with brine and those are disgusting.
Freshly cooked with egg, ham and butter sauce they are very good.
But pickled asparagus is delicious!
I raise you brussels sprouts:
Peanuts:
Yes, they grow underground like potatoes.
Well but they aren't roots, they're from a stem that goes back under.
I'll see your Brussels Sprouts, and raise you Cashews:
Aren't the tops edible too? I wonder how the little shriveled bean thing on the end became internationally popular but the juicy looking fruit on top isn't. Like, every cashew harvested has to have the fruity part too, what do they all get used for?
Maybe they are not as fit for exporting or selling so the more profitable parts get sent to US instead?
They’re called cashew apples. You can find them at asian and latin grocery stores sometimes. Never had one, but i hear they are tasty, they’re hard to transport, though, so you have to be in the right areas to find them.
Cashew juice is very tasty and it's quite popular here in brazil. It also has medicinal properties for when you have diarrhea.
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I can't believe you just spent an hour hotgluing brussel sprouts to a small tree just to trick people on the internet
I even traveled all the way to brussels to get them just for this prank.
Brussels can only be called brussels if they're from the brussels region of france, otherwise it's just sparkling wine
I see your brussels sprouts and raise you pineapples:
and they are primitive versions of grasses, POALES.
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And the violet one tastes great:
You can buy them like that in a grocer though. Shit for fridge space.
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And here I always thought they grew like tiny cabbages
they are cultivars of the same species. cabbages, broccili, cauliflowers, brussel sprouts,,,etc. Brassica oleracea, also includes kale and collard greens
bok choi, napa cabbages are from a related species, similar bred.
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Brussels sprouts are unreal
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Asperger = asparagus brings me happy memories of fooling around with this therms, I'm asparagus.
Somewhat related story; my middle name is Peter, and I had seemingly misheard it, as for the first 6 years of my life I thought my middle name was pizza.
Would you expect them to grow on a vine like beans or something?
Bunched together or with leaves around them was my assumption, not individually like someone just bought some and stuck them in the ground.
Didn't know we harvested them as baby plants.
Oh no that’s not even them as babies. That’s like two years in.
This is baby asparagus. It takes forever to develop to actual asperagus stage.
It takes several years, many seasons, much sun and rain for such a magnificent vegetable to grow to maturity and be ripe for the harvest.
Unfortunately it tastes like ass, has the texture of twine and makes your piss stink.
Vile weed.
I just need to know if you’ve given properly sautéed asparagus in olive oil and garlic a chance. If you’re basing this on mom’s boiled mush you need to give it a second chance.
Also I personally find it funny when I get to piss stinky piss. Like farts for my dick!
I tried many ways, my most successful was asparagus with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper and a light dusting of Parmesan cheese. Put it in the broiler until the cheese gets a tan. Finish with a tiny sprinkle of really fancy balsamic vinegar.
While it was an improvement, the texture was still not something I ever found acceptable.
Also, if you're using asparagus for smelly dick jokes, I am willing to withdraw my judgement.
Sweet recipe, I believe I’ve had it that way too. You have indeed stress tested asparagus.
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You fucking what? Say that to my face
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Wait... How do we know that someone didn't just buy some and stuck them in the ground to make us think that this is how they grow?
if you seen agave and aloe blooming, its because they are in the same orders, thts why thier blooms looks giant asparagus shoots.
Asperagus blooming:
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