this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023
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[–] Wage_slave@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I generally hate when people do this. At work or at home, if you're reading my screen while I am doing anything, especially if it is something none of someone's business, the anxiety becomes Mike Fucking Tyson and I lose absolutely everything i was focusing on and am more concentrated on how I am going to ask for it to stop without reciting the last rights and how to stick the fuck off i have for them up the ass.

And I already have massive personal space issues. Get close over the shoulder and doing that shit is how you get your own television show sponsored by the evening news and my name to lone assailant.

Of course way blown of of proportion, but holy fuck. Everyone has that "thing" or a few of 'em.

That is my absolute #1.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well I'd like to see you assault a chimp! This dude is shredded! He would absolutely rip your dick off!

[–] Wage_slave@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

This is how my Planet of the Apes begins, and ends.

[–] drolex@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 years ago

Johnson, where are you with this report on banana expenditures? If I don't have it on my desk tomorrow morning, I'll rip your dick off.

[–] craftyindividual@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Employee: you smell great Chimpboss, is that Calvin Klein? Chimpboss: Hey! Don't pry mate!

[–] jcg@halubilo.social 4 points 2 years ago

This has real "r/whenthe" energy. Just imagine:

When you're doing your work and your boss starts looking over your shoulder (my boss is a ripped chimpanzee)

[–] MaxPower@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago

Ripped chimp boss

[–] ieightpi@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Why is your boss a chimp? Sounds like a much easier job than most people's

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Why is your boss naked?

[–] Etienne_Dahu@jlai.lu 1 points 2 years ago

We value your work at Chiquita, Johnny.