The Onion and other satire w/ layers

1441 readers

341 users here now

For posting satire from The Onion and other similar sources.

redundancy, but not for its own sake

Be nice. All instance rules apply.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

can@sh.itjust.works

Unlimited screen time creates generation of kids who sound like they went to an international school in Singapore (www.betootaadvocate.com)

submitted 1 month ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

4 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The South Betoota Polytechnic Academy of Phonetics And Speech Study has today dropped a bombshell new report.

Built off the back of nearly a decade’s worth of clinical trials and studies, the new research has revealed there is an entire generation of kids who sound like they went to an international school.

“Yes, we’ve found nearly 74% of children between the age of 4-10 all sound like they went to school at international school, or have lived in multiple countries,” said Hugh Speakman, the lead researcher.

“The remaining others either have those weird home school accents or are multi-lingual.”

“Many of them sound like a kid who’s learnt how to speak using some weird Microsoft Sam technology.” [...]

top 4 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Steve@startrek.website 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Is this satire?

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Had to think a minute. Seriously, as TV did, I'd bet the internet is changing English to be more and more generic. In America I've heard regional dialects fade since I was young.

Worked my first tech support job in 1992 or so. Some accents were really hard to parse. Played a game with myself where I guessed the caller's state and was pretty good at it!

[–] stringere@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

In America I’ve heard regional dialects fade since I was young.

Can someone inform the Southern US? Please

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

Funny, I call that the Erasmus accent, myself.
It's what everybody sort of gravitates towards, when you have many speakers with wildly different accents together. Ie, a bunch of Erasmus students, for example.
It's why I always advised them to not stick together so fucking much, if their goal was to actually improve in their rather language.