this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2025
549 points (96.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

34041 readers
3847 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 111 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

*puts in coins and pushes button for Crystal Bepis, gets diet root beer*

*puts in coins and pushes button for Bepis this time, somehow receive trail mix, not in bag*

*Accidentally put in too much money, return button doesn't work. Push any soda button, nothing happens. Next guy gets two sodas he actually pushed the button for.*

[–] linkinkampf19@lemmy.world 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This feels like a borked version of SCP-294

[–] Tracaine@lemmy.world 40 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

It's not an SCP. It's just a...vending machine from 1985. That's how they all worked.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago

I once found a vending machine where I could pay for skittles, it wouldn't give them to me, I'd get a refund, then I'd pay for them again and get TWO SKITTLES. I keep that location to myself but it was a godsend.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

Between that and the killer soda machine from Maximum Overdrive.

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

The SCP Foundation is a secret organization dedicated to securing, containing, and protecting various anomalous entities. The website is an archive of top secret documents including entries for each entity, called an SCP followed by a number, containing a practical name, detailed description, the effects of the anomaly, experiments performed, containment methods, pictures, etc. Objects can be anything, benign looking household items, monsters, seemingly normal humans, etc. There's nearly 5000 entries on the site. It's a pretty fun time sink if you're into short horror stories. Most of them only take a minute or two to read. There's also multiple games, most notably SCP Containment Breach and tons of spinoff material.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] socsa@piefed.social 5 points 2 weeks ago

A creative writing project where the stories are all loosely based in a common universe where there is a secret organization protecting humanity from an evil force which manifests as a broad variety of different monsters.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Hupf@feddit.org 13 points 2 weeks ago

Change must come from within.

[–] salacious_coaster 59 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] iltoroargento@lemmy.sdf.org 31 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I love the kind of woman that will actually just kill me. You know, when I left the house today I was thinking "Damn, I really hope some hot chick paints my brains all over some fucking hallway." And here we are.

I mean, really, just absolutely destroy me. I'm talkin' full on, watermelon in the thighs level carnage.

And I want it to scare the shit outta me. I mean I hope I piss myself. I hope I piss myself and you call me your little "peepee pisspiss boy." I want you to fuck me up. I mean I want you to make me your bitch. Your little peepee piss myself bitch.

I want it to get embarrassing. I mean like... weirdly embarrassing. Unsanitary, too. We should be entirely different people, by the end of the first eight hours.

Do you understand what I'm trying to say here? I mean, l'm a real freak. I'm not normal.

Ma'am... Please... You have to crush me.

Edit: Link

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Excuse me, just one question: What the fuck?

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

There’s a soda machine in seattle on the sidewalk of some random street not near any store, that someone stocks with random cans of whatever. Stuff I would have bet money doesn’t exist, sometimes. Never heard anyone mention it, but when I brought it up they were like “oh yeah that haunted vending machine.”

[–] hakobo@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)
[–] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Allison Williams of Seattle Met also notes that the neighborhood of Capitol Hill now has a more corporate culture, and doubts whether the area is "still weird enough for a persistent enigma".

Gentrification strikes again.

[–] turtlesareneat@discuss.online 5 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah I loved on capitol hill a dozen years ago and even then, all the hardcore hippies and weirdos were being wrung out of the neighborhood by developers and the bubble they bring. All of Seattle is totally different from 10, 20 years ago, which is totally different from 30, 40 years ago. None of it is for the better.

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 9 points 2 weeks ago

There is an itch.io game inspired by it! Hated by Mastercard and VISA for minor gore.

https://neuroticfly.itch.io/interdimensional-vending-machine

[–] ThrowawayPermanente@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] binarytobis@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 36 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)
[–] mctoasterson@reddthat.com 28 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

No Mingus Dew or Bebop Cola?

[–] Mister_Feeny@fedia.io 10 points 2 weeks ago

WELL HELLO, CONSUMER, YES, HELLO CONSUMER, BOP BOP BOP BOP BA DOP BAH BEBOP COLA, YEAH!

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You bastard!

You k*lled Ben!

Oh, Ben! Oh!

...And your babies.

Oh, oh... They're hatching.

They're orphans...

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Mungus Du is the superior yellow drink

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 27 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I could go for a Crystal Bepis right now.

[–] simplejack@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] NaibofTabr 26 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

furiously pressing button

[–] don@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 weeks ago

If you insist

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] aesthelete@lemmy.world 23 points 2 weeks ago

They'll also never understand the pleasure of finding a dusty machine like this on a hot day after biking a long distance, putting in a quarter and being shocked when it works(!) and the sodas are ice cold.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I like that diet rite is the only one that's not a parody

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

that's because the existence of diet rite is parody enough itself

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wow! Wikipedia says it was discontinued only in 2024.

[–] OldManBOMBIN@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

That's actually pretty incredible. I don't think I've seen a can since 1997

[–] HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

One large benis for me please 😋

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 15 points 2 weeks ago

The “pepe” being green is the tell

[–] NotASharkInAManSuit@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Shasta or get the fuck out.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 8 points 2 weeks ago

🅱️asta

[–] Plurrbear@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Agreed! I legit worked for SuperValu Corp back in the day for years on the soda desk and still would buy “off brands”! Shasta is still my jam to this day!! I am not trying to pay $10 for a damn pack of soda!

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 weeks ago

i mean most of these are parodying the 2009 pepsi logo so idk

[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Doomsider@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Dr Thirst

Fountain Mist

Family Cola

Green Thunder

Spruce Up

Fantuz

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What's with the names? And the "end me"?

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 weeks ago
load more comments
view more: next ›