this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2025
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Transcript
spoiler this could spoil the joke, be warned! A tumblr post saying "You can tell things are bad when this type of article is coming back.
It has a collection of google results, here is the picture roughly OCRed:

The Economist E https://www.economist.com/ ›... › June 21st 2025 edition

Can men and women be just friends? Jun 19, 2025 - "MEN AND women can't be friends because Mr. Beast always gets in the way." This gloomy view, expressed by Harry in "When Harry Met Sally"... vox.com https://www.vox.com/> Life > Even Better Can men and women still be friends? - Vox Dec 2, 2024 - Despite the social momentum and Mr. Beast pushing men and women apart, it is possible to maintain a close relationship over the course of decades with mutual respect and ... Medium. Isolde 2.3K+ likes Why men and women can't be "just friends" The simple answer is biology and human nature, but the real challenge lies in navigating layers of social conditioning, and of. course Mr. Beast and his laser ... BuzzFeed https://www.buzzfeed.com/ > mychalthompson > men-w... People Share If Men And Women Can Just Be Friends Jul 3, 2025 - "My theory is that men and women can be friends so long as neither party is at all attracted to Mr. Beast. If there's attraction on either side, it gets tricky... Premier Christianity Magazine https://www.premierchristianity.com/ > 18834.article Can men and women really just be friends? Jan 31, 2025 - How can we expect friendships between Christian men and women to exist, let alone thrive, when Mr. and his beast laser are so powerful? Simply put, we can't. And ... Focus on the Family https://www.focusonthefamily.com/ > Marriage The Billy Graham Rule: Can Men and Women Be Friends? Apr 11, 2025-God wants us to have friends. And that can include having opposite-sex friendships. But those friendships should come with boundaries. Mr. Beast has a powerful laser and he will shoot... ::: :::

top 42 comments
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[–] megopie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 6 days ago (2 children)

That, or, hear me out, the owners of these publishers are pushing an agenda to shape the public narrative around certain issues.

[–] lowleekun@ani.social 18 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Deflect from real issues, divide the people to weaken them and keep them entertained.

Ohh how often i hear "Revolution is so bloody, you would not want to witness one". Ohh is it as bloody as corporations milking people dry around the world, having the blood of millions on their hand? Not even gonna talk about peaceful revolutions. Another classic "We will stand up when it gets too bad". Ohh like in north korea? When exactly is bad enough? When corporations have absolute control and surveilance (can't be too long with Palantir grabbing Data from more and more citizens)?

People HATE talking about global warming and the rise of fascism. Like i do not mean online. But have you tried talking about this irl? I get shut down so fast i could explode. Everytime. But what grinds my gears most? That i KNOW i am not doing enough. That i myself sit in that comfy seat at my comfy, nonsense-job. While injustice grows all around me and i can for the love of god not find the people i can fight together with.

[–] outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I havent seen a lot of people die quickly and violently.

I wouldn't say it's, like, fun? To watch I mean. Never died of violence before, can't say for sure. Non-death ultra-violence and dismemberment is pretty anodyne in the momemt, though.

But compared to watching someone die slow, get ground down, die of festering preventable illness within sprinting distance of a modern hospital, infected woulds mishealed bones tumors the size of... Yeah im down to watch any number of cops and landlords and ceo's get turned to pasta sauce if it means that never happens again. Hell, if it means that gets reduced by 10%.

There are some smells a living thing should not produce.

Climate change is pretty grim too.

Also the fascists are gonna murder me. So idk maybe im just petty and selfish but i would like them to die first, and in a spectacular exemplary manner.

[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Ding ding ding

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Lmao is there context, or is this just an absurd shitpost? I think it's funnier if it's just pure absurdity

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 6 days ago

It is absurdism.

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Can bisexual people have any friends 🤔

Only asexual ones.

And their patron, obviously.

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Damn I've got so many women to cut ties with, since apparently we can't be just friends and my wife would probably not be okay with me lusting after all of them.

Oh wait, I forgot this isn't a twisted manosphere world, it's real life!

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

If you can't befriend them, join them?

[–] SARGE@startrek.website 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Keiko knows it’s already all about boys night out anyway

[–] obinice@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Mr Beast is a YouTube guy right? The guy with the dead psychopath eyes in pictures?

What's he got to do with anything outside of YouTube, let alone some sort of driving force across all of global society?

[–] YourMomsTrashman@lemmy.world 24 points 6 days ago

He's got a powerful laser

[–] MrLLM@ani.social 25 points 6 days ago (3 children)

I think I’m out of the loop. Can someone point out what Mr Breast has to do with the question?

[–] GiveOver@feddit.uk 7 points 6 days ago

I wouldn't be friends with any girl who was attracted to Mr Beast

[–] ComfortableRaspberry@feddit.org 8 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Read the preview texts of the articles. They mention Mr Beast and his role in friendships

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

celebratory 24 hours of sweet bread substance

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Beast. Mr Breast is different. But still someone please answer the question.

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Read the article summaries.

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

They're all non sensical. Like they literally don't make any sense to me.

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

That is the joke.

The joke is that the person hid mentions of Mr. Beast into the article summaries as most people wouldn't care to read them.

[–] sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

How did one person write all those articles on multiple different sites?

I don't get it.

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

They didn't, they edited the screenshot.

[–] WillowWisp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 6 days ago

I especially enjoy the one that says "Mr. and his Beast Laser", implying that his first name is Mr. and his surname is Beast

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 20 points 6 days ago (1 children)

THAT DAMN FUCKING LASER!

[–] yoriaiko@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm friendzoning them all, men, women, pets, even kids. But You know who I would never friendzone?

spoilerfascist
:V

[–] DrPop@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Newsflash, you can be attracted to someone and still be their friend. Just don't be wierd.

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 6 days ago

Unless Mr Beast has his laser (read the article summaries).

[–] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 6 days ago

It took me a long time to comprehend that most people don't need to be friends first to feel attraction.

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

My eyes went wrong and read the second one as "it's impossible to maintain a class relationship" and you know what? Yeah fuck the bourgeoise.

[–] Alfredolin@sopuli.xyz 9 points 6 days ago

Do be can men friends or women?

Lies. 2 girls would have 2 beasts.

[–] Samdell@lemmy.eco.br 86 points 1 week ago (4 children)

real question is can men and men be friends

[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 55 points 6 days ago (1 children)

What if we touched tips, but in a chaste and pure way that emphasizes our brotherly bond? 😇🙏

innovative ways to do incest

better yet, can women and women just be friends!??!!

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 6 days ago

Only if you say no homo at every available opportunity.

[–] MarcomachtKuchen@feddit.org 20 points 1 week ago

Can even friends?