Jump!
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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There's an old joke about a guy who's house sitting for a friend and he calls to say that his cat died. The friend say something like 'don't jump right to that bad news; build it up for a bit. Tell me the cat's stuck on the roof and then tell me it fell'. The friend then says, "oh, well your grandma is stuck on the roof." Damn, I hope this is just how they're choosing to tell us.
You have thirty minutes to move your president
Your president has been crushed into a small cube
You have thirty minutes to move your cube
You really shouldn't be falling for the ol' "pool on the roof" thing by your second term.
Someone's gotta try the 9th-hole-at-9 gag next. All those golf courses, each one a new opportunity!
Edit: from Happy Gilmore, for anyone who might not know that one
Dwight, you ignorant slut.
Peak not the onion
That looks like a deck not the roof