Anger spreads. It hates everything that doesn't inflame it.
this post was submitted on 05 Aug 2025
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Because the world is a horrible place full of horrible people that need to convince themselves that they're not horrible people.
Or that everyone else is just as horrible as they are, so they'd feel justified in being a sloppy fart of a person.
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They think you're easy to take advantage of. If you assume that humans are innately evil (which I don't agree with), you'd also have to assume that kindness is a weakness.
Reasons vary between people. It's not important. If you want to know, ask the people in question.
Don't think everyone SHOULD be doing it like you. If you feel like being upbeat, be upbeat. ACCEPT not everyone is but they don't get to force their view on you either.
It's naive to think one way is more "right" than the other.
That's just some Murican bullshit, it's what happens to people raised by reality tv
It's harder to do the right thing, it's tough to be truly kind.
Follow your heart and try to make a better world around you
There are different kinds of kindness. The people-pleasing kind may come across as being naive and triggers some people. Another kind of kindness is to actually care and be curious about others and that usually comes across better.
I’m a fan of the line from Ted Lasso: be curious, not judgmental. I try approach things from the perspective of “how can we solve this problem”, since I don’t see any good in finger pointing. You can’t change the past.
I’ll admit, I am a people pleaser at times, but it’s something I’ve worked on - identifying the line when I start to be too much of a pushover.
That's a good quote.
Also props for recognizing your own people-pleasing tendencies. And I'm glad to hear you've worked on it. It takes time to understand what causes us to be like that. It might be out of fear of rejection or some other unwanted outcome. And it could be based on some irrational assumptions or beliefs.
To be able to accept any outcome in any situation is very difficult, but a strong foundation for confidence and inner peace.
I mean no one walks over me but I do get the sorta. oh thats cute. Im not so sure im kind though as much as polite and looking at things in terms of what works and whats right.
Pessimists, like everyone else, feel that their way is the right way, and if you aren't as miserable as them, you must not be doing something right.
I don't know but sorry this is happening to you. Do not give up. It is certainly not naive, you can be most kind and firm with people, you can be kind and competent. You don't need to be an asshole to get things done (I'm sure you have figured that out already) and I find that seeing the best in people works out better more of the time, anyway.
Disagree. In my lived experience, the kindest person in the room is often the smartest.
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I think that attitude is a symptom of burnout, either with work or life as a whole. They've probably been taken advantage of and let down a number of times and have developed a mindset that good work doesn't get noticed, people don't get what they deserve, so why bother?
Not saying it's justified or healthy thinking. But when they see your attitude they might be saying internally "just wait til you've seen what I've seen"
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There are many things at play in situations such as you describe. One of which is often a form of jealousy "I don't feel happy, so you shouldn't either". People often don't even realize they do this, sub conscious.
They probably don't intend to be negative, just haven't found a way to better be.
When you get walked over how do you react?
Bullies (personality disordered) seek out the strong to "prove" themselves "strong", and perceived weak for laughs/external validation. They are afraid they have nothing of substance to offer (they don't), and rather than sit with themselves to find weaknesses and flaws (much too painful, either due to an over-indulgent -- or more often, a physically/verbally/sexually/financially abusive -- upbringing) and do the work to be better people (if they can correctly identify "better," because to them, abusive behavior seems safe and strong ["suckers and losers" = "bad, they deserve it"]).
You're going to have to be the one to protect you, I'm sorry to say. Most people don't want to risk being "trouble makers," lest they lose their jobs. You're going to have to start documenting everything, then either meet with your supervisor, but an anonymous email (not from the company device or account or connection) may be able to check that behavior. If it doesn't, you'll have to meet with your supervisor or HR. I'd strongly recommend trying to find something else, before that meeting, but have your notes photocopied to take to the meeting and try to use different language. Leave the original copy home, with a photocopy in a different place, in case one set of notes becomes lost or damaged.