They built a land bridge. They even named it. Canada.
this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2025
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Canada is where all the illegals live
and the fentanyl
And my ax!
and my fentanyl!
and my illegals!
This thread did not disappoint
Mrgoomoos is alreading bring the fentanyl. A little goes a long way.
is mrgoomoos's flinstones' chewable fentanyl? i won't take any other
If you watch Fox News then yes but if you actually look at the figures, it’s fucking nothing
I think they were speaking ironically.
Yes. VERY. I have encountered three people in the wild who actually believe that Alaska is an island. The best time was when I was traveling with my kid and they said we were from Alaska to a group of people in an elevator. One of the kids in the elevator said "can you drive to Alaska?". the mom told then her , "they can't drive to Alaska because it's an island! and that's why there at the airport!" To which the DAD replied "ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS? WTF." 
That was pretty good.
I've done that to my ex wife in public a couple of times.
I learned that someone being hot does not compensate for stupid.
It's because Alaska has migratory patterns, that's why it's sometimes southwest of Texas, other times it's right next to California.
How are you going to build a bridge that moves that far, dumbass?
A suspended bridge can be really flexible. Or make it out of ropes, like in the Indiana Jones movies.
Alaska doesn't like being tethered, it will just buck around and turn the whole Pacific into a churning gyre. The wildness would have to be beaten out of it first. Don't worry though, that's being worked on.
Don’t forget to build one to Hawaii too. That’s where the delicious pizzas grow, right?
Florida to Cuba, Cuba to Hawaii, Hawaii to Louisiana
The food wood be amazing
I'd pay to see someone asking random americans in the streets about this
Pfft. We all know that map isn't official.
The reason you can't build that bridge is because Alaska is farther southwest near Hawaii, and there is a big wall around them.
To be fair, ambushing anyone on the street, out of context, is extremely likely to get a dumber answer than normal.
This would make a good study, actually. Ambush people on the street and quiz them. For the control group, quiz them immediately, on the street. For the experimental group, take them to a more relaxed location, allow them to sit, give them a minute or two to get collected, quiz them and measure the difference from the control group. You can do it with easy, medium, hard questions.
And why didn't they just call it the Gulf of Hawaii? That would've been a lot less controversial.
We tried. Canada kept getting in the way.
We wouldn't have that problem if they would just voluntarily surrender their sovereignty and become the 51st state smh
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Edit: hopefully I don't need the /s but there it is anyway
The Rockies did too
Because there’s a country between the Mainland and Alaska. Any bridge would need to be negotiated with Mexico.
I understand that this is just a shitpost, but the scaling here is crazy 😆 Alaska is more than twice the size of Texas
Now that you mention it, the projection is unusual. Is this the map they use in Texas to make it look bigger?
A very modest and reasonable proposal
During the Mexican-American War the US secretly bribed Alaska to sneak up behind Mexico and eat Mexico in one big gulp.
Then the US put Alaska in a box to quarantine it because it started to get sick. This is what you see illustrated on many maps because it was historically a very important moment to US geography.
Eventually Alaska got too nauseous, threw Mexico back up and crawled back on top of Canada.
What a lot of people don't realize though is what made Alaska so sick wasn't Mexico, it was that Alaska mistook Texas for part of Mexico and took both Mexico and Texas in one bite, and it was only the extreme toxicity of Texas that made Alaska so queasy.
Ultimately the plan of course backfired, Mexico was fine chilling inside Alaska (Alaskans and Mexicans had even taken to calling it "Mexicalaska") and this upset the rest of the US and caused riots all over the country for weeks... and unfortunately for architects of the Alaska Ambush, Alaska was not big enough to dilute the corrosive bigotry of Texas in order for Alaska to keep it down permanently.
Bravo, I love this kind of 'analogy taken too far' creative writing =D
That would be a very long bridge, probably too long to biuld. Notice the size of lake Ponchartrain by New Orleans, which is 24 miles. This would be a bridge hundreds of miles long. It's likely not feasible, sadly.
Not with that attitude! What has become of us? We used to do big things like put monkeys on the Empire State Building.
I'm glad I checked the comments because I was going to point out the same hypothetical issue lol
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Yes.
But unrelated to this. Which is silly; just do a ferry, dumkopf.
The have a ferry system called the Alaska Marine Highway System but for some dumb reason they leave out of Washington state in the northwest.
Just more governmental waste!
Cuz the material is needed for THE WALL
It appears to my eye that the red line goes from around Arena NM to ~Ciudad Cuauhtemoc Mexico.
That's about 235 miles.
The current longest bridge is Danyang–Kunshan Grand Bridge in China which is 102 miles, but the majority of that is over land.
However, since the map put Alaska in the middle of Mexico.....
We TOTALLY could.
Alaska is gonna become Canada’s 11th province. So a bridge ain’t happening.
Alaskan lobby doesn't want mexicans there, whether they're new or not
That'd be a long bridge.
Perhaps not for this reason, but yes, we are stupid
I wonder what it would cost, assuming it was possible, to build a bridge to Hawaii.
About 2-4 trillion and it would technically be almost impossible to build.
Buncha crackheads live there and we don't want to provide shelter to bridge trolls
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