this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2025
445 points (98.3% liked)

Greentext

6887 readers
1271 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 22 points 1 day ago

Anon WAS dehydrated.

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 115 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The colon is literally designed to reabsorb water left in the stool from digestive processes so he legit probably just drank it

Enemas usually include things like glycerin that stop this and force the bowels to evacuate

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 45 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (14 children)

it fucked his gut biome though, that much water coming in pressurised and without treatment is fucked

[–] logos@sh.itjust.works 1 points 10 hours ago

Don't think that's in your colon.

load more comments (13 replies)
[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 7 points 1 day ago

I'm curious if this could lead to water poisoning, but I'm unsure what search prompt to use nor unwilling to commit that to my search history.

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 15 points 1 day ago

This is what Brent Kavanaugh meant in his high school yearbook when he said "Have you boofed yet?"

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Interesting, I didn't know I could drink water anally. I kinda want to for fetish reasons now

[–] BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world 30 points 1 day ago (5 children)

This is actually a survival technique if you have water than may not be quite potable to drink, you can essentially drink through your ass and not get sick

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 1 points 4 hours ago

Bear Gryls did this didn't he ?

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 8 points 19 hours ago

It should be the opposite. Saliva enzymes, stomach acid, and bile takes care of most pathogens, whereas anal lining is basically a direct route to your bloodstream.

This is why anal is considered the riskiest option for sex or drugs.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 21 hours ago

We're not even in the douche bag dystopia's final form

[–] SnortsGarlicPowder@lemmy.zip 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I only know that from Bear Grylls and I think that guy is just a fetishist pretending to be a survivalist.

[–] BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world 5 points 20 hours ago

Ah, I learned it from Les Stroud aka Survivorman, who is the real deal, seems like Bear got it right for once.

(Should be noted it’s not a good method and still has hazards, but could save your life if you don’t have another option- similar to how how Les will advocate for simply drinking from a mountain stream if you can’t purify- more than likely you won’t get giardia- even if you do, better than dying of dehydration after 3 days of no water)

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 41 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ass chugging for health sounds sus but I don't know enough about butt hydration to dispute it

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 12 points 1 day ago (3 children)

It sounds logical to me that you wouldn't get sick, after all your poop isn't exactly sterile and so your colon is already shielding you from absorbing the bad stuff from it. What I question is how much hydration you'll really gain, you definitely absorb some since some folks can get drunk by dipping a tampon in vodka and putting it up there but I dunno about water..

[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

In a different thread someone said that it's the opposite, you better drink the water because that would at least pose a chance of killing some threats, whereas if you butt-drink it it will be guaranteed to deliver everything as is

[–] Gumbyyy@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So I guess if I'm ever in a survival situation and this scenario comes up, it'll be Schrodinger's Buttchug

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Internet comment of the day right there.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 13 points 1 day ago

Colon is really good at dehydrating. That's why you get constipation if you hold it too long.

[–] cows_are_underrated@feddit.org 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

As we all know, our intestinal trackt is (mainly) divided into 3 sections: stomach, small intestine and the colon. The stomach mainly breaks down the food physically and chemically. The small intestine absorbs nutrients (and breaks down the food even more) and the colon dehydrates the poop, to not waste water and to get a bit more suitable consistency. It also saves space if you dont have to store all the water.

So you can absolutely drink water through your colon. I wouldn't really recommend it, since theres the danger of you accidentally pushing back your stool which isn't that good, but you can do it.

[–] Alaknar@sopuli.xyz 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

As we all know, our intestinal trackt is (mainly) divided into 3 sections: colon, small intestine and the colon

WTF 2 COLONS

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 157 points 2 days ago (3 children)

2 hours later, anon vomits up poopy water.

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 48 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You made a conscious choice to post this comment.

What a terrible day to have eyes.

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago (1 children)

You think that ruined your day? I had LASIK - I paid to read that more clearly.

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I wear glasses, so I also paid to read it more clearly. Arguably a fraction of what you paid, but the principle remains.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 66 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 2 days ago

Cause South park taught us that's how it works.

[–] festnt@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 days ago

after that, anon's insides will be cleaner than the outside (4channers don't shower)

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 51 points 2 days ago (7 children)
[–] untorquer@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

The glutes are poorly optimized even for atmospheric propulsion but the frontiers of knowledge must be advanced.

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 34 points 2 days ago

Me 5 minutes ago: Oh god. No, I should not click that link. I'm definitely going to regret clicking that link if I do. I for sure am not going to... dammit I clicked the link.

Me now: Ok, that's pretty smart, actually.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] halvar@lemy.lol 45 points 2 days ago (2 children)

If the Human Body would crumble from childish injuries like this we wouldn't have been destined to rule over Mother Earth

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Does this actually get absorbed like as if you drank it from your mouth?

And what if the water isn't clean, does it get filtered this way? Since excrement isn't clean either, there must be protection against dirt in there?

[–] Nurse_Robot@lemmy.world 47 points 2 days ago (1 children)
  1. essentially. You can absorb water through the esophagus, intravenously, subcutaneously, or via the rectal route

  2. nope. The bacteria and viruses will remain in your bowel, avoiding the acidic stomach acids that would normally kill them. This is a great way to get an infection

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 16 points 2 days ago

A normal day on 4Chan

load more comments
view more: next ›