this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2025
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Not *Not* the Onion

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Tips for surviving a rip current (theonion.com)
submitted 2 days ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/notnottheonion@lemmy.cafe
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Without knowledge of proper safety measures, a strong current can turn a relaxing day at the beach into a deadly nightmare. Here are some tips for surviving a rip current: Do not try to swim against the current, but rather at a 34-degree angle relative to the wind, increasing by a factor of five for […]

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[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'll have to remember to bring my protractor next time I go to the beach.

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago

And don't drop your barometer in the ocean either, take it in, take it out.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I would worry about satirical health advice but these are so obviously jokes that the only people who don't get it will sort themselves out.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

And remember, Douglas Adams was full of shit. Panic!