When I got my first tattoo 30 years ago, my then mother-in-law said I'd be in prison soon enough. So far I've managed to be a good citizen (it seems following the law is easy), but I've got a plan for this to prove her right. When I'm about to go bye bye , I'm going to strip naked and run around on live TV, probably at a sporting event. That will at least get me arrested, and if I resist arrest and generally be annoying, I'm might go to prison to let the state pay for all the medical things associated with my demise. These tattoos are a bad influence. Hell awaits.
this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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good to know I will never be at risk of going to heaven because I'm short
What if god said you may go to heaven only if you climb these stairs but you're on a wheelchair type shit
Nobody will go to heaven because heaven is not real.
I would sooner ride a camel through the eye of a needle than go to heaven
You're rich?
Fake it til you make it?
tattoos will go to heaven will go heaven will go to heaven will go to heaven
You guys, I think I decrypted the secret message.
Overcook chicken? Believe it or not, also no heaven
Undercook, no heaven. Overcook, undercook.
lol I can’t believe grown ass adults believe this shit. I’m surprised most people dont start questioning this after they learn about Santa clause.
Santa was not on the Epstein list, I promise you.
But Epstein was on Santa's list.
but, like trump, he knew. santa knows about all the kiddo predators, he fucking sees you while you're sleeping and knows when you're awake, why isn't santa doing anything?
He's always been just another oligarchy stooge. He works for Coca-Cola Company after all.
you get it. glad I'm not alone.
Randy Newman is the gatekeeper of heaven?
you got a friend in me
Too tall to die, too short to go to heaven
Well since I’m already short and can’t do anything about it, I guess I’m free to have as much pork, alcohol, and tattoos as I please!
Pork tattoos!
tfw you've tried to be a good lad, prosocial and overall kind to your fellow man, but God made you 1.70m
;_;
Heaven is boring as Hell
Someone said that hell probably really is the place to be. Heaven has mega rules to get in, and everyone else just crashes at Satan's place.
The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven. Be honest with yourself, would you pass up the opportunity to ram a hot poker up Hitlers arse?
The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven.
I thought it was supposed to be a pineapple?
Fun fact, "pineapple" was a nickname for a grenade, so presumably you'd want to insert it in such a way as to leave the pin accessible
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you can't climb the ladder to heaven if you're short since the rungs are too far apart
They have to go in 3’s because cartoons tell me they can stack up. They would wear a brown trench coat with shades. Then they can climb the ladder.
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A wise man once said that they had no reason to live.
Has it been confirmed that they have no reason to die as well?
So what's the pork limit?
No more than 6 rashers per day
go the heaven
Randy Newman approves
I know that Grok went Nazi but Gemini going fundie wasn't on my bingo card.
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