tattoos will go to heaven will go heaven will go to heaven will go to heaven
You guys, I think I decrypted the secret message.
this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2025
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Nobody will go to heaven because heaven is not real.
I would sooner ride a camel through the eye of a needle than go to heaven
Overcook chicken? Believe it or not, also no heaven
Undercook, no heaven. Overcook, undercook.
Randy Newman is the gatekeeper of heaven?
Too tall to die, too short to go to heaven
lol I can’t believe grown ass adults believe this shit. I’m surprised most people dont start questioning this after they learn about Santa clause.
tfw you've tried to be a good lad, prosocial and overall kind to your fellow man, but God made you 1.70m
;_;
A wise man once said that they had no reason to live.
Has it been confirmed that they have no reason to die as well?
Well since I’m already short and can’t do anything about it, I guess I’m free to have as much pork, alcohol, and tattoos as I please!
You just rediscovered Dark Calvinism
Yo, I like this.
Pork tattoos!
Heaven is boring as Hell
Someone said that hell probably really is the place to be. Heaven has mega rules to get in, and everyone else just crashes at Satan's place.
The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven. Be honest with yourself, would you pass up the opportunity to ram a hot poker up Hitlers arse?
The torture for the true sinners probably happens, but at the hands of the normal people who didnt make it to heaven.
I thought it was supposed to be a pineapple?
Who knows, Hitler may well be in heaven. All it takes is a moment of repentance.
As if that cunt ever repented for a moment. He was fucking crazy you know.
He was certainly evil and addicted to drugs.
I dare say he was... methed up.
Sorry kids.
It’s ok, Uncle Roger.
So what's the pork limit?
No more than 6 rashers per day
you can't climb the ladder to heaven if you're short since the rungs are too far apart
They have to go in 3’s because cartoons tell me they can stack up. They would wear a brown trench coat with shades. Then they can climb the ladder.
Spending eternity as the taint third of a three person centaur does not sound like paradise.
Some guy at the business factory tell you that?
go the heaven
Dont we welcome alll that and more in hell. We have AC with all the scientists down there.
Randy Newman approves
I know that Grok went Nazi but Gemini going fundie wasn't on my bingo card.
If drinking alcohol prohibits you from going to heaven, all the church goers who practice communion are fucked.
You're forgetting the primary rule of religion: everything you do is evil, everything I do is the exception.
How much pork are we talking about....?
four
I mean ... It's not because they are short ... Have you met short people? They are little demons.
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when making rules it's important to be as detailed as possible. In this case what does short represents? short related to what? also alcohol imcludes wine, wich all priests drink. Do this mean all priests are going to hell? (yeah we already know they are anyway for javing sex with kids, hust making a point)
Define too much pork. Because pork loins are cheap af and pork shoulder is tasty af.
gonna be some pretty sick BBQ in hell bro, you sure you don't wanna be there?
That’s not what google ai tells me
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