this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 35 comments
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[–] lmuel@sopuli.xyz 13 points 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Well yeah you went to the bathroom?

Pretty sure that’s what it’s for right? It’s called the shitter for a reason

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] tgxn@lemmy.tgxn.net 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] four@lemmy.zip 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago
[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

one if my buddies will loudly ask his gf if she just took a fat shit after she comes out of the bathroom. no matter if its even for 1 minute. its hilarious everytime

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If I ever get a girlfriend I’m going to use this all the time

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

another good one i learned from a guy i knew in high school, whenever she bends down make a very loud fart sound with your mouth. hilarious 😂

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

Dude is all class. I now have new life goals.

[–] axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)
  • A. Shit
  • B. Goon
  • C. Blowjob
  • D. Phone
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago
[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I’m either confused or worried about C

[–] BootyEnthusiast@lemmy.dbzer0.com 56 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ay yo who took a FAT SHIT in here?

Come check it out, it won't even flush.

SOMEONE BRING THE POOP KNIFE

[–] jellyfishhunter@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago

Always upvote poop knife

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago

They probably aren’t thinking about it. Classic case of the Spotlight Effect. No one actually cares.

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I noticed a few weeks ago that a lot of people were pooping and taking so much goddamn time in the bathroom. Like, what’s going on?

Oh, they were sneaking in to write on my birthday card. It’s even a tradition and it was my birthday party but no, my stupid fucking brain decided the logical explanation was that everyone had diarrhea.

So I guess I’m the reason party guy has to worry.

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago

If it makes you feel better they probably took a shit and then wrote in your birthday card.

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That’s why at the office I go to another floor so the people don’t recognize me or my shoes.

[–] potoo22@programming.dev 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Oh hey! You go to this floor too?! So much cleaner."

[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 5 points 1 week ago

I work weekends at my job and there are a few departments that don't work weekends. I've walked past people I work with going to and from their bathrooms lol

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Didn’t even poop, just derped on my phone for a while

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

then where did the smell come from!?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

No one thinks you did that

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just tell em you were doing blow

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 days ago

Doing it after, and off of, the shit.

[–] m3t00@piefed.world 9 points 1 week ago

nobody even knows you are there

[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

As someone with crohns disease this one hits hard.

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago

Hell, my coworkers brag about it.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

That's what the others are talking/laughing about. They can probably smell it.

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Give a shit, don't take a shit

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Well he clearly gives a shit about taking a shit.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

So many people poop shy in this thread... It's fine, that's what bathrooms are for.