this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 30 comments
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[–] axEl7fB5@lemmy.cafe 1 points 46 minutes ago* (last edited 46 minutes ago) (2 children)
  • A. Shit
  • B. Goon
  • C. Blowjob
  • D. Phone
[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 1 points 11 minutes ago
[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 1 points 28 minutes ago

I’m either confused or worried about C

[–] BootyEnthusiast@lemmy.dbzer0.com 54 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Ay yo who took a FAT SHIT in here?

Come check it out, it won't even flush.

SOMEONE BRING THE POOP KNIFE

[–] jellyfishhunter@lemmy.world 26 points 1 day ago

Always upvote poop knife

[–] lmuel@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Well yeah you went to the bathroom?

Pretty sure that’s what it’s for right? It’s called the shitter for a reason

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] tgxn@lemmy.tgxn.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] four@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago
[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 25 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I noticed a few weeks ago that a lot of people were pooping and taking so much goddamn time in the bathroom. Like, what’s going on?

Oh, they were sneaking in to write on my birthday card. It’s even a tradition and it was my birthday party but no, my stupid fucking brain decided the logical explanation was that everyone had diarrhea.

So I guess I’m the reason party guy has to worry.

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

If it makes you feel better they probably took a shit and then wrote in your birthday card.

[–] otacon239@lemmy.world 29 points 1 day ago

They probably aren’t thinking about it. Classic case of the Spotlight Effect. No one actually cares.

[–] scytale@piefed.zip 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

That’s why at the office I go to another floor so the people don’t recognize me or my shoes.

[–] potoo22@programming.dev 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Oh hey! You go to this floor too?! So much cleaner."

[–] DrSteveBrule@mander.xyz 5 points 1 day ago

I work weekends at my job and there are a few departments that don't work weekends. I've walked past people I work with going to and from their bathrooms lol

[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Didn’t even poop, just derped on my phone for a while

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 2 points 17 minutes ago (1 children)

then where did the smell come from!?

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 16 minutes ago

Fartin' around. Duh.

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

No one thinks you did that

[–] m3t00@piefed.world 9 points 1 day ago

nobody even knows you are there

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just tell em you were doing blow

[–] IhaveCrabs111@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

Doing it after, and off of, the shit.

[–] Manifish_Destiny@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

As someone with crohns disease this one hits hard.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

That's what the others are talking/laughing about. They can probably smell it.

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Give a shit, don't take a shit

[–] MotoAsh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Well he clearly gives a shit about taking a shit.

[–] ohellidk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 day ago

Hell, my coworkers brag about it.

[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

So many people poop shy in this thread... It's fine, that's what bathrooms are for.