"Immortality For All Just Weeks Away"
this post was submitted on 31 Jul 2025
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Go down in history as the last human to die
There will be no headline. I am just a plebe.
Not a headline about you. Just the top story in the news on the day that you die
“Scientists discover that pigs fly”
The year of Linux Desktop is here!
So, now? https://yearofthelinuxdesktop.net/
To me it was somewhere in the late 90's, but I'm sure people will still be debating this when I die.
My entire obituary will start with the phrase
Area man ....
Of that. I'm sure.
Just as long as it’s not Florida man…
Earth runs out of Oxygen... Billions of people die!
If I'm lucky, it'll be the fact that I died. And the reputation I'd have to build to get that headline is hopefully gonna be a good one.
you won't believe what happened to this fish
Coffin too small for deceased performer, but not for the reason you think
Top headline will be about some new word the young generation is using. The smaller pieces will say stuff like "are you morally opposed to murder? That may cost you your job! 12 out the 14 companies in America say they wouldn't hire someone with antique puritane views"
Gaargle flooded with toads, again.
"Trump does stupid shit... again."
Might be Don, might be Jr., might be Eric. There are enough Trumps to exhaust my lifetime.
over_clox was attacked and run over by a Cybertruck 3.0 in auto self-defense mode after trying to move a turtle out of the road.
FMC: Oxygen line malfunctions. Experts estimate 100% casualties. Mars ambassador to Earth: "No contact has been made as of now, investigation is underway".
The news will start shortening to FMC because "First Mars Colony" will be such a frequent headline.
I will not be involved myself, I just assume I'll live waaaay too long and die peacefully in a parachute accident that same day.